


Well my heart beats at its peak, when you’re coming up to speak

by MamaWouldBeSoProud



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Found Families, Friends to Lovers, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Stripper AU (sort of), Voyeurism, also there is a lot of glitter in this, but it's superfluffy I swear, essentially they all work in a sex club, good lord so much filth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 08:43:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 32,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13947963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaWouldBeSoProud/pseuds/MamaWouldBeSoProud
Summary: The thing is - Sid needs money.God he needs money. Because college is apparently the most expensive thing in the history of the world and if he doesn’t find a job with flexible hours and good pay soon, he might have to move back to Canada and live in his parents’ basement. And he isn’t killing himself over his fucking PhD thesis for that.Or: The erotic dancer/stripper AU, in which a lot of hot men jerk off in front of other people for money and Sid falls for his goofy Russian colleague with the really big dick.





	Well my heart beats at its peak, when you’re coming up to speak

**Author's Note:**

> If you found this story by googling yourself or someone you know, please turn around and never come back. What you will read in here will probably scar you for life. Also, I am so very sorry.  
> I am not a hardcore Pittsburgh Penguins fan, but Sid/Geno is a pairing that works for me, so I thought I’d try writing them. It’s also my first AU, so please excuse the load of self-indulgent sap that I will now inflict you with. Please be kind in the comments, I am SO not sure about this whole thing…
> 
> I started this fic five days ago with a masturbation fantasy and a handful of vague plot ideas in my head. Now it’s 32k words later and I have cried into my keyboard twice. There was wine involved at some point.  
> Title from “You probably couldn’t see for the lights (but you were staring straight at me)” by the Arctic Monkeys, which I thought was a fitting song. Yes, I am very old.
> 
> Warning: There is one scene in which a character has a panic attack. There’s also flashbacks to past abuse. And there’s one incidence of a homophobic slur being used. If any of that shit triggers you in an uncool way - please don’t read this fic. You have been warned. 
> 
> Any and all spelling errors are on me. Sorry, sorry, sorry. (no, I’m not Canadian.)

 

The thing is - Sid needs money.

 

 _God_ he needs money. Because college is apparently the most expensive thing in the history of the world and if he doesn’t find a job with flexible hours and good pay soon, he might have to move back to Canada and live in his parents’ basement. And he isn’t killing himself over his fucking PhD thesis for _that_.

 

Sid is checking the notice board in the campus library for the hundredth time that week, internally counting the money he still has in his savings account and trying to figure out how many instant ramen meals he can buy with it, when he finds a little rainbow colored flyer stuck to the board with tape.

“Wanted: Entertaining help for gay club. 21+ only.”

Sid stares at the flyer. Then he hesitantly reaches out, rips it off the board and hastily stuffs it in his coat pocket. He’s not ‘entertaining’ by nature, but he’s gay, young and desperate and he hopes that particular combination will do.

 

After he sends an email with his full CV, a proper cover letter and some references from former employers to sully@glitterpalace.com, Sid goes back to his thesis and tries to keep all monetary problems out of his mind. It works as well as you might expect, which is to say: Not at all. Maybe he can only take showers at the hockey rink from now on. He coaches the women’s college team for free, so he supposes he is morally and ethically in the right here. And maybe he can take their leftovers from game nights home. Nobody’s gonna miss a couple of pizza slices and some browning bananas.

 

His phone buzzes on the table and Sid nearly falls off his chair. The library is blessedly empty at 11pm on a Wednesday, so he can actually pick up his phone which shows an unknown number on the screen.

“Hello?” he says and tries to shuffle all his notes on the desk into a halfway neat looking pile.

“Is this Sidney Crosby?” comes a smooth baritone from the other end of the line.

“Yes, this is him.” Sid replies.

“This is Sully, from the Glitter Palace. I’m calling because of that...erm... _application_ you send in.” the voice says.

 

Sid checks the time on his laptop. Who the hell calls back _this_ late?

“Oh, okay.” he says somewhat lamely. Sully chuckles in his ear.

“Well kiddo, I’ve run this club for the past five years and not _once_ have I gotten an actual resume from one of the guys that work here” he says. Sid’s ears suddenly feel very warm.

“Oh,” he says again. “Sorry.”

Stupid stupid stupid. He is so _stupid_. Why didn’t he just send a quick email with his name and phone number in it. Casual. Laid back. Normal. Oh god, this is probably really embarrassing, right?

 

Sully’s voice comes through the speaker again. “Not gonna lie, I had to laugh.” Sid actually facepalms.

“But,” Sully continues, “I was also impressed. If you’re as good-looking as you’re educated, I definitely want you to work for me. Can you come down here tomorrow, so I can take a look at you? If I like what I see, I’ll hire you.”

Sid stops facepalming.

“Really?” he breathes down the phone. Oh my god! This is the best day ever! Now he just needs to find out what the job actually _is_ and how the pay is and… Sully seems to read his mind.

“Look, I’m gonna be straight with you,” he says. “This is a gay sex club.”

Sid can almost hear the proverbial record scratch in his own brain.

 

“That _doesn’t_ mean that you have to have sex with somebody,” Sully continues quickly. “We have dancers and entertainers on platforms and in glass boxes around the club and they- well, pardon my french, but they jerk it, mostly. Sometimes - if you’re willing and you find a colleague you actually like - there are blowjobs. Sometimes actual sex. But as I said, _only_ if you want it. We don’t force anybody to do anything they don’t want to do.”

Sid swallows a couple of times. Oh my _God_.

 

He should hang up immediately. The man on the other end of the line is a pimp! Or- well, a _puff daddy_? Sid doesn’t even know. Point is, he should hang up. But that would probably be rude, right? Damn his Canadian manners! This job is just the tiniest step away from actual prostitution. It’s literal sex work. And Sid doesn’t even do casual hookups. That’s not- it’s not his thing, the whole gay scene and being naked in front of strangers and-

 

“Your silence doesn’t bode well for me, huh?” Sully asks with another chuckle.

“No, sorry.” Sid replies. “It’s just- it’s not my thing and-”

“Hey, don’t worry about it kiddo,” Sully says easily. “Not everybody’s cup of tea, I get it.” Sid breathes a sigh of relief. “Still sorry to bother you,” he says. He actually _is_ sorry. You can take the boy out of Canada, but you can’t take Canada... yada yada yada.

“It’s fine,” Sully says. “Most people are put off by the night shifts, so you’re definitely not the first one to say no to a job here. Even though the pay is great, but if it’s not your thing, it’s not your thing.”

“How much do you pay?” Sid asks before he can stop himself.

“100 bucks an hour, plus tips,” Sully replies. “And the tips are really good. Usually it’s something between 300 and 500 dollars a night.”

 

Sid has stopped breathing. One hundred dollars an hour. _For jerking off._ Which he does anyways, only that nobody pays him for it! His brain is going into overdrive. If he works, say, six to seven hours, three nights a week, he could make more than enough money for rent, food, paying off his debt and maybe even a used car or even hockey tickets. _Hockey tickets_!

“When should I be there tomorrow?” he asks.

Sully is silent on the other end of the line.

“I mean,” Sid starts a little unsure, “I mean- like, if you still would want to see me?”

Sully sighs. “Yes. Yes, actually I really need somebody because we’re stretched pretty thin right now.” He pauses and coughs a bit. “But kiddo, if I feel like you’re uncomfortable and just very desperate to make some quick money, this won’t work out.”

Sid chews on his lip.

Sully continues calmly “Because in the Glitter Palace we want sex to _be_ fun and _look_ like fun, so if I get the feeling that you really don’t want to do this, I’m not taking you on. Got it?”

“Got it.” Sid says.

 

*

 

At 10pm the next night, Sid is standing in front of a neat, non-descript door at the outskirts of Pittsburgh. The house looks completely normal, albeit with no indication of what is happening inside whatsoever. Sid _might_ have spent some extra time on his hair and shaved extra carefully tonight. He’s also wearing his best dark blue henley and some black jeans that show off his ludicrous hockey ass. Not the outfit he would wear for a job interview but his actual dating outfit. Even if it has been at least a year since he last went on a date. But, he reasons, he’s here to look good and not impress anybody with his history degree or his knowledge about alliances in WW2.

 

He presses the button next to the door and nervously smoothes down his hair again. If this doesn’t go well, he is seriously fucked. He _needs_ this job. He needs the money. And if he has to rub one out in front of an audience every night, he will gladly do it. Whatever it takes. Just for a little while until he finishes his PhD and can get a teaching position somewhere. His mother will never know about this. Like, _ever_.

 

The door opens and a huge dude with a crooked face peers down at him. Sid actually has to crane his neck to look him in the eye.

“Erm, I’m- I’m here for an appointment with Sully?” he squeaks out and tries to shakily smile at the behemoth of a man in front of him. The guy just blinks back and then his face breaks into a tentative smile back.

“Oh yeah,” he says with a slight accent. “The new guy, right?”

Sid nods and the door opens wide.

 

“Come on in” the huge guy says. “I’m Chara, by the way.” Sid shakes his hand and follows Chara through a couple of dark corridors to another black door on which Chara knocks.

“Boss, it’s the new guy here for you,” he says as he opens the door and then Sid is ushered inside and to the front of a neat wooden desk. He tries to breathe away his looming panic attack and plasters a firm smile on his face. He can _do_ this. He has faced way worse.

 

The guy behind the desk looks nothing like Sid had imagined. He had sorta envisioned a cliché pimp with fur coats, a fedora and at least one golden ring on every finger. Instead he is facing a middle-aged man with neat, short gray hair and a serious but friendly, clean-shaven face. He is wearing a gray suit, no tie and at Chara’s words he looks up at Sid and smiles.

 

“Sidney Crosby, right? I’m Sully.”

Sid nods and shakes the hand Sully offers him. Chara just slips out of the room and closes the door.

“Can I offer you something to drink?” Sully asks as he beckons Sid to sit down in one of the neat cushioned chairs in front of his desk. The room actually looks like any normal office and Sid is pleasantly surprised.

“No, thank you,” he says as he sits down and peers around. There are no whips, chains or dildos - which he weirdly feared - no pictures of naked people, just a small rainbow flag in the pencil holder on the desk.

 

Sully looks benignly at him and seems to read his train of thought.

“Not what you expected?” he says with a tiny smile. Sid smiles nervously back.

“No, not exactly,” he admits. Sully laughs a bit and leans back in his chair. His gaze sweeps once over Sid.

“You’re not exactly what I expected either,” he says and then hastily adds “Which is a good thing.”

Sid’s face feels like it’s on fire.

“I actually expected a huge nerd with thick glasses or something,” Sully continues and picks up a print out of Sid’s CV from his desk. “What with this impressive list of degrees and what not.” Sully leans forward again, his arms on the desk as he peers at Sid. “Although I should have known,” he continues and taps his forefinger on Sid’s CV. “Former hockey player, eh?”

Sid nods, a little taken aback.

“Same.” Sully just says and smiles a little sadly.

 

Sid’s fingers tap out a quick rhythm on his thigh. He is _so_ out of his depth here.

“So…” he starts and then has no idea how to continue. Sully smiles at him from behind his desk.

“Do I need to-” Sid starts again and then scratches his neck. “Erm, get naked for you or something?”

Sully blinks at him for a moment and then throws back his head and barks out a loud booming laugh. Sid wants to smack his own head into the desk.

 

Sully wipes a tear out of his eye and wheezes out a “ _Jeez,_ kiddo” before dissolving into laughter again. When he has finally calmed down enough, he grins widely at Sid.

“No, you- you can keep your clothing on for now.” he tells Sid. “I can see that you are in shape and you have a nice face.” Sid involuntarily preens a little at the compliment.

“I mostly invite guys down here to take a look and make sure you are not crazy. Which seems to not be the case” Sully says and takes a sip out of a can of diet coke on his desk.

“Now I’ll show you around a bit and if you still want to give this a try, I’ll put you on a shift tomorrow night. If you do sufficiently well, we’ll keep you on.”

Sid swallows nervously and nods.

“Sounds good” he says in what he hopes is a happy, confident tone and gives Sully a wide smile.

 

The club is nothing like the stuff Sid imagined in his angsty brain. For one, it’s not dingy or dark. It actually looks like something out of a show about super rich people, with its chandeliers, luxurious leather couches, a huge oak wood bar with gleaming appliances and a round dance floor in one of the various rooms. There are no visitors yet, only bar personnel bustling around, getting everything ready.

 

Behind and slightly above the bar is a huge window in the wall. There’s a small room visible behind it, like a storefront window, only there are no mannequins, but three bar stools.

“Up there” Sully points “are usually three of our solo entertainers. They dance a little, draw in the crowd and jerk off. You can see them in action later, when the club opens.” Sid nods, trying valiantly to look superchill. He can feel his palms dampen but there’s also a surprising flutter of arousal low in his gut.

 

Sully points to another smaller storefront window above a group of couches and then to a corner where there is an actual huge golden bird cage hung high up the wall, large enough to fit at least two men.

“We also have entertainers in these. Those are usually coupled up entertainers who interact.”

Sid nods again. He feels like he should say something at some point.

“And with interact you mean-” he says and then gestures a little wildly. Sully grins.

“Blowjobs or handjobs.” He motions Sid to another room that looks like an old-timey library with huge brown leather couches, an open fireplace and soft lighting. There’s a raised, round platform in the middle with a round mattress on it. It revolves slowly.

 

“This is the _porn bed_ ” he says with another mischievous grin. “We usually have two entertainers on it who actually engage in penetrative sex.” Sid’s mouth falls open a little.

Sully winks. “Sometimes even three, but that’s usually only on high holidays.”

Sid realizes to late that it’s a joke. His laugh sounds weird when it finally comes out of his mouth.

 

There’s a dj booth behind the dancefloor they pass with a cute scrawny kid in it. He’s bopping along to the music, while another dude with dark hair, heavily ripped jeans and a silver chain around his neck seemingly organizes the records with a slightly grumpy look on his face.

 

Sully waves at them before turning to Sid and saying “That’s our regular dj Mitch. The grumpy kid with the huge forehead is his boyfriend Auston.”

Sid smiles at them from their spot on the dancefloor and Mitch enthusiastically waves back. From Auston he only gets a curt nod. Sully grins.

“Inseparable these two. I actually have Auston on the payroll too, even though he doesn’t really pick the music. Just stands next to his boyfriend and makes googly eyes at him all night.”

Sully shakes his head and sighs, but even Sid can tell that he is mostly fond.

 

Behind the club is an outside area with a huge patio and something that looks like an actual fucking park with twinkling lights and tiki torches along the various paths that lead through it. There’s a fountain in the middle, artfully sprinkling water around the statues of two kissing naked men. It looks like something out of a five star resort and Sid can spot several waiters in bow ties and vests walking around, putting ashtrays on tables and picking up tiny pieces of trash and empty condom wrappers.

 

Back inside they finally pass a door that has velvet golden curtain hanging in front of it. Sully gives Sid a probing look and pulls the curtain back a bit, so Sid can peer in. He doesn’t really see much, because there is very little light. He can just make out a large room with a lot of nooks and corners and what appears to be various swings hanging from the ceiling.

“And this is the dark room,” Sully says. Sid has already leaned forwards but he pulls back quickly at these words, his face flushing violently.

Sully gives him a piercing look.

 

“Look kiddo, it’s a sex club. Guests aren’t allowed to have sex anywhere but the dark room, but of course they do, especially the regulars. They fuck outside in the garden a lot, some get their cock sucked in the middle of the dance floor. You’re gonna see a lot of dicks if you work here, okay?”

Sid nods hastily.

“Yeah, yeah for sure” he mumbles hastily. “Just surprised me, is all.”

Sully’s eyebrows go up but blessedly he drops the curtain and the topic and turns around.

“Alright then. Time to meet the other boys” he says.

 

*

 

The ‘locker room’ as Sully calls it, is somewhere behind the bar, through the maze of corridors. It’s a bright, warm room and Sid has to blink a couple of times after the dimmer lights of the club. There is a row of mirrors at the wall to the left, with light bulbs screwed in around every mirror and a small table and a stool in front. There are leather couches in here too and Sid wonders briefly why every couch has to be leather. Then he thinks that it’s probably easier to wipe clean and he blushes again.

 

Sully seems to take his blushing for shyness, which- okay, he might have a point, and Sid might be eternally grateful that Sully takes over the introductions. He just puts two fingers in his mouth, gives a sharp whistle and at least ten heads turn to look at them. Sid’s face probably looks like a stop sign right about now.

 

“Listen up kids,” Sully calls and the chatter in the room dies down fast.

“This is Sid” he says and Sid gives a halfhearted wave.

“He’s gonna look around tonight and if he likes what he sees, he might come back tomorrow to try out. So be on your best behaviour, alright?”

Sid can hear a few laughs and whoops around the room.

 

Sully points at a shirtless, insanely ripped guy with tattooed arms.

“That goes especially for you Seggy.”

The ripped guy dramatically puts a hand to his heart.

“What? I am the _nicest_ guy here” he says with a mock pout and everybody cracks up.

“Sure you are” Sully says with another grin as the guy called Seggy turns back to put some more oil on the chest of a beefy dude with brown hair and huge cow eyes behind him.

Sully points at them. “This is Tyler, or Seggy, and his boyfriend Jamie.”

“Wow, did you hear that Jameson,” Tylor coos. “He called you my boyfriend!”

“I _am_ your boyfriend, dum dum” Jamie grumbles and Tyler leans up quickly to press a placating kiss on Jamie’s mouth and giggle. The guy called Jamie rolls his eyes but he seems used to it.

 

Sully and Sid make the rounds, Sully introducing Sid to a startlingly beautiful blond man called Gabriel - “Call me Gabe”, the blond angel says with a European accent - and another really hot dude called Leon, who also seems to be European.

“German, actually” Leon says when Sid asks him. “Gabe is from Sweden, I’m from Germany, Jamie and Tyler are from Canada” - “GTA forever, baby!” Tyler screeches across the room - “and we have some Finns and Russians here as well.”

“Oh, I’m from Canada too” Sid says and Sully laughs his booming laugh again.

“I can put out as many job ads as I want, we still never get any Americans in here.”

“That’s because people dig our rough Canadian charm” Tyler shouts again.

 

Sid shakes so many hands that by the end of the round he has already forgotten most of the names. Apart from Tyler of course, who is loud enough to be heard wherever they are in the room. When Sully finally beckons Sid over to a tall, lanky dude on a chair in front of the many mirrors along the wall, Sid actually just wants to crawl in his bed and not talk to anybody for like, a week at least. Apparently, spending the last six months locked away in his campus library with his books has turned him into even more of a hermit. Who would have thought?

 

The guy in front of the mirror is wearing only black boxer briefs and is currently in the middle of smearing large quantities of oil on his arms and chest.

“Sid,” Sully says and pushes him forward, “this is Geno. Our veteran entertainer.”

The guy called Geno looks up at that and Sid suddenly has trouble breathing.Or, you know, remembering _how to human_ . Does he always stand this awkwardly? And he should smile, right? Smile and look relaxed?  Look relaxed in front of this insanely _hot_ guy.

Sid wants to pant like a sled dog.

 

It’s not that the dude is as conventionally good-looking as, say, Gabe the Swedish angel or even ripped Tyler, but he is so, _so_ Sid’s type it’s almost ridiculous. Like somebody asked Sid’s dick “So, what do _you_ like?” and then made that into a guy. Tall, lanky but still athletic, brown hair, dark eyes and extremely full lips, which are currently pulled into an exaggerated fake pout.

 

“Veteran make me sound very old, Sully” Geno complains in a clearly Russian accent. Then he turns to Sid and there’s a spark in his eye.

“So you new guy?”

Sid nods and steps a little closer.

“I’m Geno. Would shake hands but-” Geno gestures to his oily fingers. “Not want to make new guy all dirty on first day.”

“Oh come on, that’s a lie!” Tyler shouts across the room.

“Seggy!” Sully shouts back. “What did I _just_ say?”

 

Sully actually leaves Sid in the locker room, when the club opens a little while later.

“I’m just gonna check on everything and then pick you up here in half an hour. You can get better acquainted with everyone while I’m gone.”

Sid nods and has never felt so underprepared for anything in all of his life.

“Is okay, Sully,” Geno says with a small smile in Sid’s direction. “Can leave rookie with me. Is in _best_ hands. I’m scare Tyler away from him.”

Sid actually laughs at that and Geno positively beams at him.

 

Talking to Geno is surprisingly easy, considering that Geno is all oiled up and stretching his insanely long limbs while they chat. It doesn’t help that he is not only good-looking but also really funny and nice. But even so, Sid’s mouth feels like a patch of desert and he is grateful when Tyler’s boyfriend Jamie comes over at some point to hand him a cold bottle of beer. He probably drinks it way too fast, but he is nervous and thirsty and Geno keeps looking at his mouth when he puts the bottle to his lips. Sid tries not to choke and barely manages.

 

“So what you do when you not try out for entertainer position?” Geno asks him after a little while.

“I’m- um, I’m getting my PhD in history right now.” Sid says and looks down at his beer bottle. It’s almost empty already.

“No way!” Geno beams. “I study history too. Doing masters right now. Here at University of Pittsburgh!”

Sid blinks at him.

 

Somehow it hasn’t even occurred to him that there might be other people with university degrees in this room. People he might have passed on campus at some point. He should be ashamed. How elitist can one person _be_?

“Really?” he asks Geno. “That’s amazing! What did you specialize in?”

“Russian history” Geno says. Sid grins. The answer seems pretty obvious, but it’s still supercute.

“Is best!” Geno adds fervently and Sid lets out an embarrassing giggle-honk.

Geno looks highly amused.

 

Sid can’t really believe it’s only been half an hour when Sully comes to pick him up. Geno had just asked if Sid plays any sports and when Sid told him that he used to play hockey, Geno had broken out into an excited rant of half Russian, half English hockey stories. Apparently Geno spent his entire youth at the hockey rink in Russia and is a huge fan of the Pittsburgh Penguins.

“Is best team with best players!” he exclaims while shaking his hands wildly for emphasis.

Sid is giggling non-stop at Geno’s fervor, but he has to admit that the Penguins are looking like they’re gonna be pretty good this season.

“What your favorite team?” Geno wants to know.

“Oh, um, I like most teams, actually,” Sid says diplomatically. He’s from Nova Scotia. He kinda has to be a Habs fan, even though their youth program is part of the reason he stopped playing. But still.

“Well, apart from the Flyers.” Sid adds after a second. “They _suck_.”

That’s when Geno starts laughing.

 

Sid knows he’s not an easy guy to talk to. He knows he’s too nerdy or too weird, knows that it’s usually not great for the general flow of conversation when he suddenly falls silent, because he just has no idea what to say about some topic. But Geno somehow doesn’t seem to mind. He just happily babbles on, while he styles his curly hair and puts moisturizer on his face and Sid listens while he slowly peels the label from his bottle and tries to calm his racing heart.

 

He and Geno have so much in common, and Sid can see his massive crush on Geno forming in real time. They both have degrees in history, they both played hockey when they were younger, they both have dogs that they had to leave with their parents and that they miss like crazy. Geno even agrees with Sid on a special topic that is - and always has been - very dear to Sid’s heart.

“Yes, I’m _always_ say this: Chandler is funniest of all Friends. Ross is worst.”

Sid might be in love, is what he’s saying.

 

But Geno needs to get out to his performance, so Sid waves goodbye to everyone and  follows Sully back through the maze of dark corridors to the club. There is already a decent crowd scattered across the various rooms. The bulk of people hang out around the bar, ordering drinks over the pounding bass. Club lights sway overhead and there are waiters in golden bikinis and with white angel wings attached to their backs making their way through the crowd.

 

Behind the bar are three guys in black shirts and black jeans, mixing cocktails and opening beer bottles with the easy routine that comes from years of practice. Sid has actually tended bar when he was a freshman at college, but he never really got into it. The effortless flirting that makes you get a lot of tips - yeah, that has never exactly been his forte.

 

“I’m going to leave you at the bar for a couple of minutes, I have to check up on a few things” Sully shouts and gestures to one of the bar stools.

Sid sits down and looks around while Sully motions for one of the barmen to come closer. It’s a shorter, rough looking dude with slightly grey hair and a crazed grin. One of his front teeth is missing and there’s a heavy golden chain around his neck. He looks so violently Russian that Sid isn’t even surprised when Sully introduces Alex to him and mentions that he’s a friend of Geno from Russia.

 

“Call me Sasha” Alex tells Sid as he shakes his hand and winks. Sid smiles a little shakily. Alex seems nice, but also gives off a crazy vibe. Like he spends his freetime in dark alleyways beating up guys for fun or something. Sid doesn’t even know why, but he eyes Alex a little warily.

“I’m gonna take good care of you, Sid the kid” Alex announces as soon as Sully has left them.

Sid blinks. “Sid the kid” has actually been his nickname on the ice when he was younger, but there is _no way_ Alex can know that.

“Good nickname, yes?” Alex grins and puts a purple drink in front of Sid.

“What’s this?” Sid asks tentatively. Actually he doesn’t want to know.

“Best drink for new best friend!” Alex coos and then he flits off to serve another customer. Sid is grateful for the break.

 

Sid also meets the two other bartenders, two guys named Tom and Mike who seem to be dating. At least that’s what Sid deduces from the frankly indecent looks they shoot each other every few minutes. But they also flirt like crazy with everyone who orders a drink, so Sid doesn’t even know. That’s why he doesn’t really like gay clubs. He has only ever been in serious relationships - _monogamous_ relationships. He doesn’t get that whole open-relationship-fucking-around thing that seems so common in the gay scene. He _likes_ having a person for himself. He likes trusting someone enough to fuck him. He doesn’t shame anybody for screwing around, but it’s also not his thing. _At all_.

 

His drink is almost empty when the storefront window behind the bar finally lights up. The three barstools are still in there, spaced out evenly. But now there are also spotlights, illuminating the three people on them. Geno, Leon and some pale kid with full lips and curls that Sully introduced to him as Kappy from Finland earlier. Around Sid, guys holler and clap and the music seems to intensify slightly. All three entertainers are wearing only boxer briefs, their skin glistening with baby oil. Sid has to take another couple of gulps from his surprisingly delicious drink.

 

Geno, Leon and Kappy don’t really dance as much as they move seductively to the pounding music. Leon seems to hump the air a lot, while Kappy mostly strokes up and down his abs and hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers. Geno though - Geno moves with a grace that Sid has frankly not expected from him. He moves his hips, flexes his arms and shows off his slender torso. Sid is suddenly very glad that it’s dark in the club and his crotch is mostly hidden by the bar, because his dick is definitely showing interest.

 

Geno circles his hips a bit, then turns around and wiggles his round butt at the audience. Sid lets out a whoosh of breath. Geno’s shoulder muscles gleam in the spotlight and he slowly hooks his hands in his boxers and pulls them down before he turns back to face his audience. If Sid had thought he was fucked earlier, he sure as _shit_ is fucked now. Because Geno is hung - really, _really_ hung - and half hard and Sid suddenly wants nothing more than to go down on his knees and worship Geno’s frankly _gorgeous_ cock into the next year.

 

By the time Geno finally wraps one of his huge hands around his even bigger dick, Sid is as hard as a rock and barely breathing. He doesn’t even really register the guy sidling up to him and asking him if he can buy Sid a drink. He has forgotten about everyone else or why he is here in the first place. He just watches Geno stroke himself with practised precision and determination. Watches the precum leak from Geno’s slit and the way Geno pinches his own left nipple to perk it up. He’s pretty sure his mouth is hanging open, so he makes sure to close it before he drools on the bar.

 

Geno throws his head back and splatters the glass with his cum when he finally comes. Then he shoots a satisfied grin into the crowd, before he exits through a door in the back of the tiny room. A glass gets put down in front of Sid with a clunk and he flinches and looks down. Alex has put another purple drink in front of him.

“Think you need” he says with a sly grin. Sid blushes again like his life depends on it.

“Thanks” he mumbles gratefully and takes a few hasty gulps.

“Russian men are good at very many things” Alex says knowingly and laughs his crazy laugh.

 

Geno doesn’t come out again while Sid waits for Sully to come back. Instead some of the other guys from the locker room get on the bar stools in the front window. Sid watches them, as they go through their routines and even though he has to admit that beautiful Gabe jerking off is probably the most objectively erotic thing he has ever seen - it doesn’t even come close to the religious experience of watching Geno touching himself.

 

Sully comes back after a while and introduces Sid to a couple of other guys. At this point, Sid has had two of Alex’s purple drink concoctions and a beer on a mostly empty stomach. He suddenly feels very warm in his Henley. He’s also craning his neck for Geno, to see if he’s maybe back in the storefront window thingy above the bar.

 

Alex puts down another glass in front of him. This time it’s not a purple cocktail, just tap water.

“Geno on break for now. Will be back in an hour maybe.”

Sid stares at Alex.

“Can you read minds or something?” he mumbles a little petulantly before chugging half the glass of water.

Alex grins and puts a bowl with chips and peanuts in front of him.

“Yes. But also you very obvious.”

Sid doesn’t even dignify that with an answer.

 

Some time around the second bowl of peanuts, Sid starts talking to a cute, curly-haired kid next to him. Sully has disappeared again - apparently something always needs checking up on - and Sid realizes he is actually enjoying himself. He is sitting right next to the cutting station for the lemons and peppermint twigs, so everything smells delicious. Alex gets him a fresh glass of water every now and then and keeps him supplied with peanuts and chips. Sid usually doesn’t go for junk food, but he doesn’t usually sit around in luxurious sex clubs to watch gorgeous Russians jerk off either, so there’s that.

 

He also feels weirdly safe, because the _one_ sleezy guy that sidled up to him and tried to engage him in a conversation got shooed away by Alex really quick. And so Sid really enjoys sitting here with his own private, crazy bodyguard/barkeeper and an assortment of peanuts and salt  & vinegar chips.

“What’s your name?” the curly-haired guy asks him.

“I’m Sid” Sid answers and quickly wipes his greasy hand on his jeans before shaking the curly guy’s hand.

“Andre” the guy says. “But most people call me Burky. I’m Tom’s and Mike’s roommate.” He points to the two bar keepers next to Alex.

 

“Are they a couple?” Sid asks curiously. Burky laughs.

“Yeah, they finally are. Took them _ages_ until they made a move. They were just ‘best friends’ for years, but then they started working here and Ovi and Papa finally got them together.”

Sid wrinkles his forehead, confused.

“Ovi and Papa?”

“Oh”, Burky claps his hand to his forehead. “Sorry, I mean Alex and his husband. Nicky.”

Sid almost chokes on a peanut.

“Alex is married?”

Burky gives him an amused look and nods.

“Doesn’t look like the type, right?”

Sid shakes his head emphatically. Burky grins.

“Want me to tell you something _really_ shocking? Ovi’s husband is totally normal. He works as a lawyer and they have a house in the suburbs and want kids and a dog and stuff.”

Sid looks at Alex again. He knows not to judge books by their covers, but the books in here are more like the ones in spy movies. The ones that have guns and a secret safe hidden inside. Or a flask. He could use a flask right about now.

 

When Geno comes back to the window, Sid tries to keep his cool a little more. But he’s pretty sure that Burky and Alex are exchanging significant looks and highly amused grins when Sid’s eyes stay very much glued to Geno for the duration of his stay in the window display. When Sully comes to pick him up and have a final chat in his office, Sid waves goodbye to Alex and Burky.

“Will see you soon, Sid the kid!” Alex shouts and reaches over the bar to pull Sid in an awkward, crushing hug. “You be good now. Bye bye”

Alex smacks a loud kiss on his cheek, pats his hair clumsily and lets Sid go. Sully barely suppresses a laugh when he sees Sid’s rumpled expression.

 

“So” Sully says as they sit down around his desk again. “You still wanna do this?”

Sid nods before Sully has even finished speaking and Sully laughs a little.

“Yes.” Sid adds unnecessarily and probably two shades too eager. He likes it here. He didn’t mean to like it, but he really does. The guys were all friendly, Sully seems like a surrogate dad to everyone, the club is really pretty and Sid can make money here. Actual _money_. He can spend his days at the library and his nights here. And it’s not like he has any better way of using his free time.

“Alright” Sully says. “Then let me get those pesky insurance forms for you to fill out and then you’re hired for now.”

 

A few hours later, Sid climbs into bed, still keyed up from the night he just had. He took an uber home, because Sully insisted and even paid for it.

“The night bus isn’t safe, kiddo” he said. “Especially not for a gay kid.” And then he paid the driver and clapped Sid on the shoulder. “Get home safely, Sid.”

Sid wondered briefly when it would be appropriate for him to ask Sully to adopt him please.

 

Sid scoots down a little lower into his pillows and looks up at the ceiling. The club definitely was a pleasant surprise and the guys there had an easy sort of camaraderie. The one he has never had outside of a hockey locker room. And when he came out - or was forced to - not even there anymore. Sid never really noticed, but he has actually been pretty damn lonely for the past few years. His best friend Flower took a teaching job at the West Coast and his friend Tanger is married with two kids and works a nine to five job. That doesn’t exactly leave much time to hang out like they used to.

 

Tonight, Sid has talked to at least ten different guys. This is unheard of in Sid’s social life. Nevermind that all of them were more or less age appropriate and gay, which is also very much unheard of in his social life. And Geno- Sid’s hand on his stomach wanders lower without him meaning to at the thought of Geno.

 

Sid is no idiot - he already knows this will end in the worst possible heartbreak ever. He’ll fall head over heels for this gorgeous, funny, smart Russian guy and then find out that the gorgeous, funny, smart Russian guy already has a boyfriend. Or is into some really weird, kinky shit that Sid isn’t into. Or only wants casual hooking up. Or an open relationship. Or he simply isn’t into Sid at all.

 

Sid sighs and spits in his own hand before palming his cock. At least he can think about Geno while he rubs one out. Oh, the small joys.

 

*

 

His first shift starts at 9pm the next night. Sid eats some instant ramen at 6pm, takes a very thorough shower and puts on some sweat pants and a shirt. He doesn’t want to get welts on his belly from the waistband of his jeans. He figures it doesn’t matter how he looks when he gets to the club, it only matters how he looks in one of the window displays.

 

His nerves aren’t actually that bad on the way there. He listens to some history podcast he found and watches the other passengers on the bus. They all look so normal, just coming home from work or from the grocery store. Maybe they think Sid looks normal too. They probably would never guess that he is on his way to his new job at a sex club. To touch his own penis in front of a hollering crowd. The secret actually makes Sid kind of giddy.

 

When he rings the bell, Chara opens the door for him again.

“Hey Sid, you’re back!” he exclaims and claps his hand briefly on Sid’s shoulder before pointing him into the direction of the locker room. The regular entrance for the club is just to the left, but Sid has to go straight ahead and through the maze of corridors to the door with the sign that says “How the sausage is made”. He hesitantly pushes it open.

 

There are already a couple of guys in there, all waving and shouting their hellos when they see Sid. Tyler comes over to do some sort of weird bro hug that ends with him slapping Sid’s butt. Sid tries not to flinch and Jamie - who is sitting in front of a mirror to apply a bit of glitter to his face - rolls his eyes.

“Tyler, _heel_!” he shouts and Tyler giggles and leaps over to slap the back of Jamie’s head fondly.

“Sid, over here!” another voice shouts and Sid turns to see that it’s in fact Geno who called for him. Sid’s face is probably doing something really stupid right now. Oh god, has it always been this hard to breathe? He needs to get a grip. _Quickly_.

 

He wanders over to Geno’s seat and Geno pats the stool next to him.

“This your new spot. Sully put you with me for tonight. Veteran and rookie make good team.” Geno grins up at him.

Sid tries to shoot a wide smile back, but it probably comes out a little shaky. So he just nods and puts his gym bag down to take off his jacket. Geno looks at the gym bag.

“Brought things for shower? Good. Forgot to tell you last night. You want to shower after getting all-” Geno waves his hand in the direction of the club “dirty in there”.

 

Geno is already half undressed, his jeans hanging at a hook next to his mirror. As he is talking to Sid, he pulls off his shirt as well, pushing it carelessly into his own bag at his feet. He points to the tabletop in front of Sid. There’s a pair of black boxers on it.

“Need to put these on. Then oil up if you want to.”

Sid wrinkles his nose.

“Do I have to?” he asks a little hesitantly. He doesn’t want to be difficult on the first day, but baby oil isn’t exactly his favorite. To his relief, Geno shakes his head.

“No, not have to. But looks nice, yes?” he says and smiles his crooked smile at Sid. Sid suddenly wants to pour an entire barrel of oil over himself. If it makes Geno look at him like _that_ , Sid would do it.

 

To ease his own awkwardness, Sid keeps up the conversation as he slips out of his shirt and sweatpants.

“So, you said Sully teamed us up. What- what does that mean? Like, what are we doing tonight?”

“Ah” Geno answers and scratches his chin. “Sorry, my English little bit bad sometimes.” He smiles a little sheepishly. “Not mean we have to do anything with each other. Just mean I show you how is done, yes? We up behind bar and everybody for himself. But I show you.” He hesitates a little before asking “Okay?”.

Sid nods quickly. “Yeah, for sure.” He’s a little relieved, even though Sully has assured him that he only has to engage in anything with anyone if he really wants to. But still- no, he’s really relieved. And maybe a _bit_ disappointed. But mostly relieved.

 

Sid has gotten naked with other dudes in hockey locker rooms all of his life. But there are certain rules to that, and they _definitely_ don’t seem to apply here, because when he quickly slips out of his own boxer briefs to put on the black ones laid out for him, he hears a whistling sound.

“Holy shit, the new kid got some _ass_!” Tyler’s voice booms across the room. Geno scowls in Tyler’s direction but then looks at Sid’s butt too. His eyebrows shoot up appreciatively.

“Tyler right” he says to Sid. Geno’s tongue is between his teeth as he grins up at him. “Best butt I’m see in years!”

Sid might combust spontaneously at any second but he forces out a laugh.

“Oh shut up.”

 

A guy Sid hasn’t met yet sits down in the seat on his other side and looks at him.

“Hey, you’re new” he says and shakes his floppy blond hair out of his forehead. He has _very_ blue eyes. “I’m Willy.”

Sid shakes his hand.

“I think the three of us are teamed up tonight” Willy says and looks to Geno for confirmation. Geno nods.

“Gonna show Sid how is done.” Geno says and starts applying baby oil to his torso. Sid tries to find places to look other than Geno’s body.

“Well, with an ass like that, I think he doesn’t actually need to do _anything_ to get the most tips tonight” Willy says with a glance at Sid and pulls off his hoodie. “It’s like some mythical creature or something.”

“It’s not _that_ big” Sid protests. Jeez, it’s just his regular old hockey butt.

“No, no” Tyler says, sauntering over. “Willy’s right. And ‘Creature’ might actually be a good nickname for you.”

“My nickname is _not_ gonna be Creature!” Sid shoots back, horrified.

“Sure, Creature!” Tyler says and winks at him.

 

Sid ends up putting a little bit of baby oil on his arms and chest. If Geno says it looks nice, he’s not gonna argue. And Geno’s eyes wander appreciatively over Sid’s body right before they head out for their first shift, so Sid certainly does not feel like complaining. Not that he even has enough air in his lungs right now to speak. His nerves have finally hit at full force and Sid very much doubts that he’ll be able to get it up. In front of so many people staring at him. Oh god, he usually doesn’t even like making out in public. He _so_ doesn’t have an exhibitionist streak.

 

Geno seems to sense Sid’s nervousness, because he keeps standing in between Sid and the other guys waiting to go out to perform and shields Sid from Tyler’s excessive noise and Gabe’s and Leon’s jokes. Sully comes in to give them the go sign and nods at Sid.

“Good luck out there, rookie!” he says.

“Don’t fuck it up, Creature!” Tyler hollers.

Geno scowls in Tyler’s general direction and leads Sid into the corridor maze with a warm hand on Sid’s lower back, anchoring and calming in its presence.

 

Geno and Willy stop in front of another nondescript black door. Sid can actually feel his own pulse in his eyeballs. Willy shoots him a pitying look and claps him on the back.

“Don’t worry, Creature” he says. “Everyone’s nervous the first time. They’re gonna love you.” He pointedly looks down at Sid’s ass.

Geno smiles at him and squeezes his upper arm.

“Yes” he agrees. “And don’t worry if you not get hard. Most of us don’t first time. Just move a little, touch yourself, is fine.”

Sid swallows hard and nods.

A red light starts to blink above the door, casting weird shades through the dark corridor.

“Is go time” Geno says. “I go last.”

Willy rolls his eyes. “Yeah yeah, we know. Three years of stripping experience in Moscow. Shut up.”

 

It’s still dark in the narrow room behind the window when they enter. Sid almost stumbles into the first bar stool but quickly steadies himself and keeps walking. He can _do_ this. He jerks off every goddamn day. He’ll just pretend to be alone. They all sit down on one of the bar stools and wait. The music from the club is audible in here, enough to dance along to it if they want to. Another smaller red light blinks again, right above the window. Geno murmurs along to it.

“Three, two, one, go!”

 

The lights hit Sid light a bullet, bright white and enough to make him feel like a literal deer in the headlights. The music in the room gets louder and from the corners of his eyes he can see Willy and Geno get up slowly to the beat of the music. Sid gets up to, on autopilot and trying to look less helpless than he feels. When he lifts his gaze, he realizes that the lights actually mean he can’t really make out anybody behind the glass. He can only faintly hear people shouting. Weirdly enough - that helps. _A lot_ , actually. He can just pretend he’s alone. Alone with Geno and Willy. And just dancing. Getting naked for fun. Not for money.

Sid moves.

 

He starts slowly with a few sways of his hips, strokes up his hands along his sides and over his chest and back down again. He remembers the awe of the other guys in the locker room directed at his ass. Sid knows that most of the gay guys he has ever met were really into it, so he mentally shrugs and turns around to wiggle his butt at the invisible audience behind the glass. Sid can actually hear a few people whistle and clap. He catches Willy’s eye and they share a grin.

“Told you” Willy whispers before bending over and taking off his boxer briefs.

 

Sid actually manages to take off his own boxer briefs without falling and hitting his head. He’s even most of the way to being hard, which is a very pleasant surprise. But somehow he can’t bring himself to touch his own dick. He tries, _really_ , he does. Lets his hand drift lower and lower, only to chicken out at the last second and swerve off to the cut of his hips. Willy next to him is already breathing harshly, balanced with one hand flat on the glass in front of them and the other one stroking up and down his dick. When Sid looks to his other side, Geno is standing in front of his barstool, feet wide, one hand on his dick, the other one playing with his balls, his head slightly thrown back in a cocky way. He looks like he is challenging the crowd to a fight. He also looks so insanely hot that Sid’s cock involuntarily twitches.

 

Finally, Sid takes a deep breath, wraps his hand around his own dick and tugs a couple of times. If he chances a quick sideways glance at Geno every few seconds, he can stay turned on for long enough to actually stay hard as long as they are in here. As soon as Willy and Geno are done, they can go. That’s what Geno said, right? Sid doesn’t have to come. Sid has already exceeded expectations by getting hard on his first try.

 

Willy groans behind him and the sound of something wet hitting the glass fills the room. Sid is still stroking his own dick when Willy blows a kiss to the audience and sidles out of the room with a quick slap on Sid’s butt. Sid tries not to flinch. He keeps stroking his dick and shooting coveted looks at Geno. Geno also seems close, his breath only coming out in short rasps. Sid swallows a couple of times to get rid of the tightness in his throat. His left hand comes up to play with his nipple while he steals another glance at Geno.

 

Geno comes a few moments later, thick stripes of cum shooting out of his dick and in an almost graceful arch to the floor. Sid is too turned on to look away. He doesn’t care that the entire crowd is seeing this. He is mere feet from Geno, who has just come and is slowly lifting his head to wink at the audience. Sid has stopped breathing at some point and his face is probably doing the most ridiculous things.

 

Then Geno turns to him and looks down at Sid stroking his own cock.

“You hard,” Geno says under his breath.

Sid nods and bites his lip a little. He wants to come, but Geno is about to leave the room and Sid does _not_ want to stay here alone, getting himself off with an audience.

“Want me to help?” Geno says, so quietly that Sid almost thinks he might have misheard. He just blinks at Geno, his hand stilling on his dick.

“Not have to” Geno adds when Sid doesn’t answer. Oh _God_ , Geno is offering to touch his dick and Sid is freezing up and not saying anything and-

“Yes.” Sid hears himself whisper. “Yes. _Please_.”

 

Geno looks at him, so much heat in his gaze that Sid is sure he is about to catch fire pretty damn soon. He expects Geno to ask him again, ask him if Sid really wants it or to say he didn’t mean it. He just made a joke or something. But Geno doesn’t do any of these things. He just takes a few steps over to Sid and comes up behind him, one arm wrapped around Sid’s middle, his softening dick pressed to Sid’s ass and his other hand briefly palming one of the cheeks before slipping to the front and replacing Sid’s own hand on his cock.

 

Sid moans at the contact and lets his head fall back to Geno’s chest. Geno hooks his chin over Sid’s shoulder to see what he’s doing and then he starts to stroke Sid in a rhythm that isn’t meant to tease.

“Oh God,” Sid whispers before biting his lip again. He needs to keep all sounds inside, or it will get _really_ embarrassing _really_ fast. Geno adds a little twist on every upstroke, his large hands steady on Sid’s painfully hard dick.

“Got you” Geno whispers into his ear. “Don’t worry, Sid. Help you come.” His lips peck the sensitive skin on the side of Sid’s neck quickly.

Sid moans again and thrusts into Geno’s hand. Geno’s breath is ghosting his neck and making the small hairs there stand on end.

It takes a shamefully short amount of strokes for him to come with a hoarse shout.

 

Sid has no idea how they make it back to the locker room, their crumpled up boxer briefs in hand and jizz still coating Sid’s belly. The room is blessedly empty, only Willy and Kappy sitting on one of the couches with towels around their middle and water bottles in their hands. Sid smiles weakly at them and slouches over to his chair. He feels exhausted and come dumb and he wants to hide under a blanket or maybe a rock. He let another guy jerk him off in front of an audience. With his last boyfriend, Sid had waited four dates to just make out and now he has let a virtual _stranger_ touch his dick! What the hell is wrong with him?

 

His internal downward spiral is interrupted by somebody pressing an ice cold water bottle to his sweaty neck. Sid makes a noise somewhere in between a yelp and a moan and looks up into Geno’s grinning face.

“Stop making sexy noises. Can’t get hard again so fast. Not nineteen anymore!” Geno complains.

Sid laughs a little breathlessly but he gratefully takes the bottle and the clean towel Geno hands him.

“Come, we sit over by other couch” Geno says and points to another comfy looking leather couch at the other end of the room.

“Relax a little and talk.”

Sid swallows and nods before following Geno to the couch.

 

“You okay?” Geno asks him when they have both plopped down on the couch with a sigh.

Sid nods and takes a sip from his bottle.

“Yeah, it’s- I’m okay.”

Geno quirks up an eyebrow.

“No really.” Sid adds with a small smile. “Just- It’s a bit weird. I haven’t- I’ve never done that before in front of people, so-”

Geno nods seriously.

“Is okay. I get it. First time I do, I cry in bathroom afterwards.”

“Really?” Sid can’t really picture self assured and brazen Geno crying on the toilet.

“Yes.” Geno nods. “Thought ‘Is shameful!’ you know? But then I’m think, is also fun. And makes people happy. Or horny, at least. And means I pay rent and can buy food and car and-”

“Hockey tickets.” Sid interrupts him with a grin. Geno blinks at him before breaking into wild laughter.

“How you know? You mindreader, Sid?”

Sid just grins and drinks his water. He can’t believe they are laughing together. Geno has just jerked him off. Sid doesn’t know how he can still look Geno in the eyes and just talk about stuff, but he can. Geno makes it easy somehow.

 

They hang out for almost an hour, talking about the Pens preseason game last night and what they did that day, until Sully comes in to call them back to the window room. Sid has cleaned himself up with some wet wipes and put some more oil on his upper arms. The clean smell of the baby oil is actually weirdly relaxing to him. Right before he has to leave, Tyler and Jamie come in, both sweaty and clearly freshly fucked.

“You on the porn bed tonight?” Willy asks them. Tyler nods with a wild grin.

“Yeah. And Jameson apparently had some pent up energy hidden somewhere. Not sure I’ll be able to sit anytime soon.”

Sid’s blush is only matched by Jamie’s as he thumps Tyler on the back of his head.

“Shut up Tyler. _Jeez_.”

 

Tyler grabs Sid by the arm when they are about to head out.

“Hang on” he says and swipes a glitter stick across Sid’s cheek bones.

“Here you go” Tyler says with a wink. “For good luck.”

Sid rolls his eyes but he also has to laugh when he walks out the door.

 

The second shift is easier somehow, even though Sid already has one orgasm under his belt for the night. But he knows what to do now and how to move. He stands closer to the glass this time and just the memory of Geno’s huge hands on his belly and his dick have him panting in no time. He wishes Geno would offer to help him again, but Geno actually finishes first this time and leaves Sid with a quick wink and a whispered “Just leave when Willy do, okay?”

Sid stares at his mouth and wishes Geno would kiss him. Then he thinks about Geno’s lips stretched around his own cock and he comes before the door has even fully closed behind Geno.

 

This time, Sid makes the walk back to the locker room by himself. He almost takes the wrong turn at some point but he runs into Gabe and Leon who have just come back from the birdcage and they enter the locker room together. Geno is on one of the couches, chugging some Gatorade and talking to some guy in rapid fire Russian. Sid doesn’t want to disturb them, so he slowly walks back to his own mirror and sits down in front of it. Willy comes in a few minutes later and falls into the chair next to him.

 

“Not bad, Creature” Willy says with a wink.

“Yeah, I _really_ don’t like that nickname catching on” Sid grumbles back and reaches for the baby wipes. He wants to take a shower but his shift is probably not over for ages. He kinda gets now why they are paid 100 bucks an hour for this. Willy just chuckles and cracks open the seal on another water bottle.

“Sorry, Creature.”

Sid scowls at him.

 

“But for real,” Willy says after a couple of sips. “Seriously well done. Two times on your first night and you got hard on your first shift and completed the deal on the second one. That’s really good for a start.”

Sid shrugs a little. It’s a weird thing to get a compliment for, if he’s being honest.

“Well, I had help the first time, so-”

Willy pulls up his eyebrows.

“What do you mean, you had help?”

Sid looks at him. Right, Willy went outside before Geno jerked him off. Willy didn’t even see that.

 

“Um, well-” Sid starts and shoots a glance at Geno, who is still on the couch talking to the Russian dude Sid doesn’t know. “Well- Geno jerked me off on my first shift.”

Willy gapes at him. Sid feels suddenly on edge. _Oh God_ . Has he just ratted out Geno? Is it against the rules to help each other out or something? Did Sid just inadvertently betray his new crush? Oh God, why does he _talk_?

 

“Geno jerked you off.” Willy repeats in a funny tone. “Like- he put his hands on your dick?”

Sid nods.

“Oh wow.” Willy says with his eyebrows now close to his hairline. Then he turns to his mirror and also gets some wet wipes.

“What do you mean, ‘oh wow’?” Sid asks a little nervously. “It’s not against the rules or anything, right?”

Willy snorts and shoots Sid a bemused look.

“Dude, no, it’s fine. This is a sex club. We all jerk each other off at some point.” He wipes some cum from his belly and hands and then tosses the dirty wipes in a trash can by his feet.

“It’s just- Well, _Geno_ never jerks anybody off. He doesn’t engage with any one of us out there. That’s his only rule. He goes out alone and never with anybody else. Says it’s ‘not right’, whatever that means.” Willy shrugs. “He’s the guy who’s been here longest and it’s just always been this way. No idea why, man.”

 

Now it’s Sid’s turn to gape. Willy looks at him with something in his eyes that Sid can’t quite place.

“You must be something really special, Creature.” he finishes and gets up to get another water.

Sid feels like somebody just hit him with a frying pan.  

 

He fully expects to be called out for a third shift after an hour in the locker room, but Sully comes in with about ten pizzas that he puts on one of the tables and then turns to Sid.

“Well done, Sid.” he says and claps him on the back. “Really good first night, eh?”

Sid smiles a little helplessly and scratches his neck. He still has no idea how to take compliments for jerking off well in front of people.

“Usually I’d ask you to go out for a third shift,” Sully continues, “but tonight is your first night so you can just have some pizza and hit the showers if you want.”

“Oh.” Sid says. He’s oddly disappointed. He doesn’t know if he has a third orgasm in him tonight, but he was kinda looking forward to go out there again with Geno.

 

Sully apparently hasn’t picked up on Sid’s mood.

“Usually your nights are six hours long. You go on either three shifts in the solo booth or two shifts in the cage or the couple booth. Or one shift on the porn bed and another in one of the booths.” Sully explains. “After that, you can take a shower and mingle in the crowd.”

“ _Mingle_ ?” Sid asks in a slightly panicked tone. Mingling sounds like he’s expected to do stuff with customers in the crowd. Mingling sounds dangerous. Mingling sounds like the _last_ fucking thing Sid wants to do right now.

 

Sully at least picks up on Sid’s discomfort, because he puts a reassuring hand on Sid’s shoulder.

“Relax. You’re not expected to do anything you don’t want.”

Sid takes a steadying breath and tries to smile at Sully.

“Usually the boys just sit down at the bar and let some admirers buy them drinks. Or they dance. Or take a walk in the park.” Sully smiles. “The customers just like to see the entertainers around. Flirt a little with them or buy them drinks. If any of them bothers you, you tell either Alex or Chara and they’ll kick them out. The regulars know that, so they are usually on their best behaviour.”

Okay, Sid thinks. That doesn’t sound _too_ bad. And a hot shower also sounds good.

 

Geno walks past Sid on his way out.

“Save me some pizza, rookie” he calls over his shoulder and gives Sid a wink and a blinding smile before disappearing.

Sid puts three slices on a paper plate and guards them with his life for the seventeen minutes it takes Geno to come back.

 

After a long hot shower, Sid feels almost human again. Even though it’s past one in the morning and he has to stay awake for at least another two hours. He rubs a towel over his hair and walks back to his mirror before he remembers that he came in sweatpants. Sid groans. There is no way he can go mingle in his ratty sweats. He’s pretty sure there’s a grease stain on them.

“What’s wrong, Creature?” Tyler calls from his stall.

“I didn’t pack decent pants” Sid answers a little desperately. “I came here in my sweats.”

Tyler hums. “Hmm, okay, hang on a second.” he says and disappears.

Sid sits down in front of his mirror and puts his own boxers back on at least.

 

Tyler reappears a few seconds later with a pair of black jeans in his hand.

“Try these. They are Jamie’s, but he also got a ludicrous ass, so maybe they fit you.”

“Hey!” Jamie calls and comes up behind Tyler.

“Babe, I _love_ your ludicrous ass. Learn how to take a compliment” Tyler says placatingly and Jamie smiles.

“You sure this is okay?” Sid asks him.

“Yeah man, try them on” Jamie says.

They fit. Not great, but they fit. When Sid turns around in front of the mirror he can see his ass straining every seam of the soft black denim. Tyler whistles low.

“Hot damn, you won’t have to pay for _any_ drink tonight, Creature.”

Sid groans.

 

He ends up back at the bar. Alex gestures to a barstool at the side and as soon as Sid sits down, he has another one of the purple cocktails in front of him.

“Good evening, Sid my friend!” Alex coos at him and honestly, Sid doesn’t even have it in him to be annoyed by Alex’s pushy charm. He just smiles and takes a sip of the drink.

“Thanks Alex.”

“Call me Sasha!”

Sid looks around at the crowd. It’s weird to think that these people have seen him come. Seen him get jerked off by Geno. Seen his stupid sex face and the way his dick looks hard. Sid takes another sip of his drink.

 

It takes only a couple of minutes for the first guy to approach him.

“You were new tonight” he says and grins enthusiastically at Sid. Sid smiles back. The guy is not exactly handsome, but not repulsive either. Just a regular dude in regular clothes and with a regular haircut. Sid is pretty sure he won’t even remember his face as soon as the guy turns away.

“Yeah, it’s my first night” he replies.

“Well, good job” the guy says. Sid thanks him. And then the guy just- _hovers_. He keeps looking at Sid, like he expects Sid to ask him something, but Sid honestly doesn’t even know what he would ask him. So he just smiles and lifts his glass slightly, before he turns back to the bar. Alex is watching him with a bemused look on his face.

 

The regular Joe keeps looking at Sid for a couple of beats, before he shrugs and walks off. Alex bursts into raucous laughter.

“Wow, Sid, you so bad at this!”

Sid scowls at him.

“I’m not! I just- what was I supposed to do?”

Alex keeps laughing. “Talk to him, maybe? Let him buy you drink?

“But I _have_ a drink!” Sid lifts his glass again.

Alex just snorts.

“ _So_ bad at this.”

 

It seems to be a slow night at the club, because there aren’t that many people there. Sid passes the time watching them and trying to guess what they are all doing in real life. Most of them wear really fancy watches and have expensive looking haircuts. Well, they all must be loaded, because Geno told him earlier that they have to pay 150 bucks just to get in. All the cocktails are another 25 dollars a pop. Under normal circumstances, Sid couldn’t even afford a cocktail cherry in this joint.

 

Another guy approaches Sid, just as he finishes his drink. He puts another cocktail in front of Sid.

“Here, I bought that for you” he says and smiles.

Sid smiles back easily, a little tipsy already, and is about to thank him when Alex’s hand shoots out of nowhere and pushes the glass back at the dude. Sid looks up confused and sees Alex glare at the customer.

“You can drink that yourself.”

The guy seems like he wants to argue, but one look at a clearly livid Alex is apparently enough to make him shrug and slink away into the crowd. The cocktail is still on the bar. Alex takes it and pours it down the drain.

“Hey- what the-” Sid says, because he actually planned on drinking that.

“Sid!” Alex interrupts him in a sharp tone. “You _never_ drink open drink from stranger. He can buy something from me _in front of you_ and I will make sure it’s good drink. But you don’t take drink that has been out of your sight. Are we clear?”

Sid stares at Alex. What the hell is his prob- oh. _Oh_.

 

Alex seems to spot the exact moment Sid visibly gets it.

“Yes.” he says and nods at Sid. “Not everybody here nice. So be on alert, yes? Promise me?”

Sid nods hastily.

“Yeah. Yeah for sure, Alex. Thanks.”

“Call me Sasha!” Alex replies and hands Sid a bottle of water.

 

Most of the entertainers join Sid at the bar after a while. Kappy and Willy are on the dance floor, grinding against some sweaty, shirtless dudes and doing body shots off each other. Gabe is holding court next to Sid at the bar, literally fending off potential suitors constantly. Burky has appeared on Sid’s other side again and he and Sid silently giggle as Gabe has to turn down yet another offer for a drink, since he already has four cocktails standing in front of him.

“Maybe we should get him a pitchfork or something,” Burky suggests quietly. “Help the poor guy out.”

Sid snorts unattractively into his water.

 

Geno doesn’t show up, even after Sid is finished with his water. He keeps craning his neck as inconspicuously as possible, but the tall, lanky shape of Geno is nowhere to be seen.

“You wanna have a look around?” Burky suggests.

Sid shrugs but says yes eventually. Maybe Geno is in the park or in another room. Maybe Sid can catch him alone again and talk to him a bit. Talking to Geno always seems to settle him in a way little else can. Sid chooses not to inspect this brand new realization _too_ closely.

 

They set off through the crowd to the library room with the porn bed. There are no entertainers on it, apparently there is only one ‘show’ at the beginning of the night, and Tyler and Jamie took care of that one. Instead there’s a cluster of customers scattered over the mattress. Most of them are just talking, although Sid is pretty sure there is also a sneaky hand that moves up and down another crotch. He looks away quickly and blushes again. He should _really_ try to get that under control.

 

They also stop by the dance floor. Mitch has transitioned the music from upbeat electronic music to something more r’n’b, even though Sid has no idea who the singer whining about her partner making her walk sideways is. He’s not really big on music. At least nothing from this decade. He has been known to screech along to Gloria Gaynor when he is very, _very_ drunk.

 

Burky leads them to the golden curtain of the dark room and Sid wants to protest, he _really_ does, but he is also insanely curious. He has no idea what’s going on in a dark room - although he can guess - but he kinda wants to just take a look. Maybe. His pulse is speeding up as Burky lifts the curtain aside and slips in first, still holding the curtain flap open for Sid to follow him. Sid takes a deep breath and slips in.

 

It’s - surprise, surprise! - really dark inside. The ceiling seems to emit a very faint glow, but apart from that, there are absolutely no sources of light whatsoever. The music is fainter in here, the bass coming through the velvet curtain in a muffled throb. Sid can hear a lot of slick sounds from all directions, some moans and soft curses and when his eyes have gotten accustomed to the dark, he can make out people scattered in pairs or small groups across the room. He flinches when Burky grabs for his hand, but lets himself be pulled along, deeper inside the room.

 

They come to a halt a few feet further inside and stop to lean at the wall to their right.

“If you want to find somebody, you can go,” Burky whispers to Sid. Sid just shakes his head no, afraid to actually open his mouth. Burky grins at him. His teeth glisten brightly in the dim light.

“I usually just come in here to watch, but when you’re alone, you get approached by a ton of people. When you are with someone, people just leave you alone!” he whispers conspiratorially to Sid before he leans back and peers around.

“Look!” Burky hisses after a few seconds. “There’s Leon.” He points into a corner.

Sid’s eyes follow Burky’s pointing finger to land on Leon, who’s also with his back to a wall, head thrown back and hands gripping a bobbing head at crotch height.

 

“That’s Connor,” Burky whispers in Sid’s ear. “He’s one of the regulars. Rich kid who’s at med school. Has a huge crush on Leon and takes any chance he gets to suck his dick.”

Sid takes a long look at the lanky, blond kid on his knees in front of Leon. He has light hair and is wearing a Leafs shirt, blue jeans and Chucks. He has swallowed down the entirety of Leon’s dick, which- _kudos_! Sid watches them a while and then turns to see if there are other entertainers in here.

 

The unknown Russian dude Geno talked to earlier is in a back corner, roughly jerking off a tall guy with dark hair. For a split second Sid is convinced that it’s Geno and he immediately feels like hurling his guts out, but after he takes a closer look it just turns out to be some customer. Sid also spots a guy he has definitely seen on campus a couple of times and one dude who he is pretty sure lives in his building. He cringes a little inwardly, but then he realizes that they are here for a reason, and he figures he probably has nothing to be ashamed of.

 

Burky leads him out of the dark room a little while later and they make their way back to the bar. Sid can see Geno sitting on a barstool and speeds up to make sure he can plop down on the open seat right next to him.

“Hey Sid,” Geno says excitedly. “Think you already leave!”

“Yes,” Alex smirks from the other side of the bar. “He was sobbing into his beer, because he wanted to give you his number and thought you already went home.”

Geno scowls at Alex.

“Don’t know why I’m friends with you. _Most_ stupid.”

Alex just cackles and then goes off to serve another customer.

 

“Sorry” Sid says and grins apologetically at Geno. “Burky and I were just looking around.”

“Yeah.” Burky pipes up from Sid’s other side. “Showed Sid the dark room.”

Geno’s smile falters. He looks back and forth between Sid and Burky and apparently draws _all_ the wrong conclusions.

“Oh,” he says. “Oh, fun.” He doesn’t sound like he thinks this is fun.

“ _No_ !” Sid yells, panicking a little. Everybody in the vicinity jumps and stares at him. Maybe he was a _bit_ too loud.

 

“No- I mean-” Sid continues a little quieter and clumsily grabs Geno’s elbow, “I just- Burky showed me around because I just wanted to see what was happening in there. We didn’t- like, do anything or- like, _look at him_ !” Sid’s tone is getting a little desperate again and he waves a hand in Burky’s direction. “He’s practically still a _child_!”

“Ouch. Way to throw me under the bus, Sid,” Burky says and laughs.

Tom, Mike and Alex behind the bar all laugh as well. And Tyler and Jamie, who also apparently heard Sid’s outburst. Oh _God_. Maybe Sid should just go and live in a cave or something. He could probably pull off a loin cloth made out of squirrel.

 

Sid lets his hand fall back down onto his own thigh, defeated. He almost jumps out of his skin when he feels Geno’s pinky softly stroke the side of it, almost hidden so none of the others can see. They have all started up different conversations about brunch the next day and weekend plans. Sid lifts his gaze slowly. He is _so_ shit at this. What does Geno care what he does and with who? He probably doesn’t and Sid has read this all wrong. They don’t even know each other. Sid is doing this thing again, where he projects every bullshit princess fairytale on a guy showing even the slightest bit of interest and- And Geno is smiling at him. Not his usual wide, blinding smile but a very small one. Private. Just for Sid.

 

“Is okay, Sid” Geno says quietly. “You can do what you want with lots of people. Nobody should tell you not to enjoy.”

“But I don’t _want_ to do anything with lots of people” Sid whispers. “I don’t like that. I don’t- I just- I like it when it _means_ something.” He finishes and looks down into his lap. Oh God, he is such a loser. Seriously. If he had a mirror at hand, he would make the L-is-for-Loser-sign at himself right now. Like any true loser would.

 

Geno’s pinky hooks itself around Sid’s pinky and Geno squeezes a bit.

“Yes. I’m know feeling. Is same for me.” he answers quietly.

His smile is wide again. Sid smiles back. Geno’s pinky stays hooked around Sid’s for the rest of the evening.

 

*

 

Sid wakes up late the next morning and takes a couple of minutes to blink himself fully awake. It’s almost 10am, but he got home late and the evening was exhausting in so many ways. In the bright sunlight streaming in through the window, the last night seems surreal. Like a dream you have after eating too much cheese. He got undressed and jerked off in front of people. He let another man touch his dick and enjoyed it. He drank and laughed and flirted. If it weren’t for a faint trace of smoke and beer in his hair, Sid could _almost_ pretend it never happened.

 

He gets up after a while and goes to the bathroom to pee, brush his teeth and take a shower. He has tonight off, so he has all of today and tomorrow to write on his thesis. Sid whistles as he makes himself some oatmeal and coffee. Then he packs a bunch of books in his messenger bag and walks all the way to campus. It’s a sunny, late summer day. The kind that already hints at a fast approaching fall, but is still warm enough so Sid doesn’t even need a cardigan. When he gets to the library with a coffee in hand, he takes his usual seat by the window overlooking the trees in the yard, takes out his laptop and gets to work.

 

He makes good progress, so when his stomach starts to growl at around 3pm, he packs up his stuff and heads to his favorite coffee shop on campus to get himself a sandwich and some coffee. Maybe he will even go for a run later tonight. He suddenly feels more much energized to _do_ shit, now that he knows that he will actually be able to make rent this month.

 

Sid is looking for a free spot of grass in the campus courtyard, when he hears somebody call his name. He turns around and sees Jamie - Tyler’s boyfriend - wave at him from a couple of feet away. Sid is so perplexed that he just stares for a second, before waving back and making his way over.

“Hey Jamie” Sid says when he reaches Jamie and sits down next to him on the lawn. “What are you doing here?”

Jamie is sitting cross-legged, surrounded by a vast amount of books and notepads and looks slightly dishevelled.

“Hey,” he greets Sid back and then sighs. “Thought I’d get my notes in order early this semester, but-” he waves his hand at the many books and sighs again. “Not going as smoothly as I hoped.”

 

Sid chuckles and takes a sip of his coffee. He can relate.

“I didn’t know you studied here too,” he says. Jamie grimaces.

“Yeah well. Last semester hopefully. I’m studying to be an elementary teacher, but I keep failing my final exam in educational theory.”

Sid looks at Jamie, who is gulping down his own coffee like he is being paid for it. He can kinda picture him being a teacher. You know, if he ignores the fact that he has seen him come back from the porn bed just last night, where he apparently fucked his boyfriend to pieces. So- _minor oversight_ , really.

 

Jamie gives him a probing look.

“Weirded out to see someone from the club in the real world?” he asks Sid with a slight grin.

“Yeah, kinda,” Sid admits sheepishly.

“I know the feeling,” Jamie says. “First time I ran into Sully in the grocery store, I almost fainted.”

Sid laughs. He probably _would_ have fainted.

“It gets better,” Jamie says. “We even hang out with a lot of the guys on our days off. It’s a good group.”

“Yeah, seems like it.”

 

They are quiet for a while, both watching the other students mill around in the courtyard, playing frisbee or sitting around and chatting.

“So, how did you find out about the club?” Jamie finally asks Sid.

“Um, I saw a flyer up on the notice board in the library,” Sid says. “It didn’t really specify what kind of job it was, so I sent in my _stuff_.” He very nearly says CV, but catches himself in time. No need to blab out that embarrassing detail.

 

“When Sully told me what the job actually entailed, I didn’t really think I’d be into it, but-” Sid trails off.

“But the pay is incredible and you needed the cash.” Jamie finishes his sentence. Sid nods.

“I get it,” Jamie says. He looks a little sullen all of a sudden. “Same for me. I never really pictured myself as an ‘entertainer’ either.” Jamie makes air quotes around the word ‘entertainer’.

Sid doesn’t say anything. He feels like there’s a story here, but he doesn’t want to be nosy. Jamie seems like a cool dude and Sid doesn’t want to piss him off by prying in his personal business.

 

“I only started,” Jamie eventually continues, “because my parents had some problems. Dad lost his job because of a leg injury and they still have mortgage payments and shit to worry about.” He shrugs his shoulders a little and lets his gaze wander over the courtyard. “My older brother, Jordie, he’s a big shot executive dude at a bank. He really rakes in the cash, but I couldn’t just leave him hanging with this. My sister is a nurse, so she couldn’t really help much moneywise. So I found out about the Glitter Palace and started there.” He smiles shyly. “And then I met Tyler, so- kinda worth it, to be honest.”

Sid smiles back at the lovestruck expression on Jamie’s face. He wishes somebody would look this stupidly besotted when they thought of him. But apart from Nana Crosby there are probably no viable candidates.

 

“So you guys met at the club?” Sid asks.

Jamie nods and grins a bit.

“Yeah. Tyler and I started around the same time. Sully asked us one night if we wanted to go to the birdcage together. I think he was trying to matchmake, because my pining was probably pretty fucking obvious at that point.” Jamie lets out a self deprecating laugh and starts stacking up the books around him. “I mean,” he continues, “you’ve seen Tyler. Pretty hard not to lust after that.”

Sid grins but doesn’t reply. He gets that Tyler is pretty good looking, but he’s not really Sid’s cup of tea. Sid likes his tea cups taller and maybe also Russian. He shakes his head quickly and tries to refocus on Jamie’s story.

 

“You know,” Jamie says, “I was a pretty fat kid. And I got teased in high school. The fat gay kid, who isn’t really great at sports is usually not the one who gets crowned homecoming king.”

Oh boy, doesn’t Sid know it. He rolls his eyes. “Tell me about it,” he says and Jamie smiles weakly at him.

“Yeah, so, my self-esteem wasn’t exactly great when I started at the Palace. But Tyler was just so-” Jamie makes an actual swooning motion and they both burst out laughing.

“I get it, I get it,” Sid says. “You wanted to hit that.”

“I _really_ did!” Jamie says and they laugh again.

“Well, seems like it worked out, right?” Sid says and Jamie nods.

“Yeah. Yeah, it did.”

 

Sid knows the question he wants to ask Jamie is really private. Under normal circumstances he wouldn’t, but- he’s just _really_ curious. Also, they have seen each other naked and freshly fucked. Jamie has lent Sid some pants, so maybe it’s an okay question to ask someone on the second day of knowing them.

“Are you guys, um, _monogamous_?”

Jamie looks up, surprised. Sid immediately backtracks.

“I mean- I’m sorry if that is way to private. Sorry. Forget I asked, I- sorry.”

“No, no,” Jamie says and pushes his hair out of his face. “It’s fine. Don’t worry.”

They fall silent.

 

“I mean,” Jamie starts after a few moments, “I guess it depends on what you define as monogamous.” He carefully smoothes out a wrinkled page on one of his notebooks. Sid is leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, waiting for Jamie to continue.

“We are not dating other people, if that’s what you mean,” Jamie says. “We’re also not allowed to fuck other people.” Jamie smiles a little wryly again. “Not that I would even _want_ to do that.” He looks up and meets Sid’s gaze. “Tyler has only ever been in open relationships before, so- we kinda had to find a compromise. We get to _do_ stuff with other people, like blowjobs or handjobs or making out, but only if the other one is also there and can watch.” Sid is pretty sure he is blushing again. But, then again, Jamie’s cheeks are also pretty damn pink right about now, so it’s probably fine.

 

“It’s- it kinda started out as a compromise, and let me tell you, I wasn’t great with it at first,” Jamie continues. “But-” he hesitates a little, “it’s kinda- it’s pretty damn hot, actually.”

Sid swallows.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Jamie says and lets out a breathy laugh. “I mean, I like to look at Tyler any which way, and watch him suck off another dude or getting jerked off while watching is actually pretty fucking awesome.”

Sid laughs along a little shakily. He can’t imagine _ever_ finding that hot. He’d probably wanna bawl his eyes out if that ever happened to him with someone he loved. But if it works for Jamie and Tyler, that’s great.

 

They stay on the lawn a bit longer, talking about their lives outside the club. Jamie is from British Columbia and a big hockey enthusiast too, which- they’re Canadian, they are probably all very predictable. Jamie grew up liking the Canucks, so they talk about their season and the fact that Tyler - who is an avid Leafs fan - now has an actual reason to be smug when they’re comparing favorite teams.

 

Tyler, Jamie tells Sid, is from Toronto but moved to the US when he was just 18.

“He kinda quit high school, because he was having a hard time and moved to Boston,” Jamie says. “He didn’t really do great there, partied way too much and got in some bad ways with some very bad people. Sully met him when Tyler was at a gas station, trying to hitchhike to New York. Sully took him home instead and put him in the room of his eldest daughter, who just went off to college. Kinda nursed him back to normal and gave him a job at the Glitter Palace. Now Tyler’s living with me and getting his high school diploma.”

 

Sid’s mind is blown.

“Sully has kids?”

Jamie chuckles. “Yeah. Three daughters. All of ‘em at college now. His wife and him separated when they were still young. She married some dude in Philly, I think.”

“Sully’s not gay?” Sid aks, even more stunned.

“Nah,” Jamie replies. “His brother is, though. He helped design the original outline of the club. They opened the Palace together ten years ago or something. His brother now runs a twin club, identical to our one, in San Francisco.”

“Holy shit” Sid says.

“Yup,” Jamie agrees and they both start laughing again.

 

Sid gets home from the library around six and goes for a quick run. He passes a drug store on his way back and slips in to buy some protein pills Jamie told him about. Apparently they help with getting it up three times every other night, and so Sid gladly hands over the eleven dollars and heads home for a shower and some pasta with chicken on the side. He is clearing his bank account with the purchase of actual food, but his first paycheck will come in in only two short weeks and he also feels like screaming at the prospect of eating yet another meal of instant ramen.

 

Sid spends his entire next day at the library and reads up on a lot of stuff he will need for the next chapter of his thesis. After jotting down three whole pages of notes, he packs up around 5pm and takes another long walk home, saving the money for the bus. It’s not like he couldn’t use the exercise. He actually can’t wait for the hockey season to start up again, when he gets to train at least three times a week. Even just coaching the college women’s team is exhilarating. Feeling his muscles work the way they are supposed to, the burning in his lungs and the sound of his skates on a fresh sheet of ice in his ears. It’s the best thing Sid knows.

 

Sid heats up his leftovers from last night for an early dinner and takes a quick shower. When he checks his phone for the time, he sees he has one new message from an unknown number.

**Hello Sid, is Geno from Glitter Palace. If you want you text me your address and I can pick you up. Have car and maybe that more comfortable than bus. xx G.**

Sid’s pulse speeds up so fast, he feels like he is having a stroke. Fuck, right, he gave Geno his number two days ago. He has almost forgotten about it, but now Geno wants to give Sid a ride to work.

 **Yes, that would be great!** Sid answers and then shoots Geno another quick text with his address.

**Great! Pick you up at 8.30 )))**

 

Sid is incredibly nervous as he waits for Geno outside of his apartment building. When a small, black car finally pulls up to the curb, he is almost bouncing on his feet.

“Hey Sid!” Geno calls out the second Sid has opened the door on the passenger side.

“Hey Geno,” Sid answers and slides in. “Thanks for picking me up. That’s really nice of you.”

Yeah, Sid’s mom hasn’t raised a rude person. Geno just chuckles and his eyes twinkle a bit when he pulls back onto the street.

“Is no problem. Almost on my way to club. And I think is much easier for you not to take bus.”

Sid smiles and blushes again. It actually is.

 

Usually the ride to the club takes Sid about an hour. In Geno’s car it takes them a little less than twenty minutes. But that might also be because Geno apparently has _never_ heard of speed limits or basic traffic laws.

“You, um- You got your driver’s license recently, or-?” Sid squeezes out, one hand on the handle above the door, the other one clenched in his seat.

Geno looks over with a grin.

“Relax, Sid. I’m best driver. Never have accident.”

A car swerves in front of Geno and Geno hits the breaks, cursing in Russian.

“S-sure.” Sid says.

 

Geno parks his car right next to the entrance of the Glitter Palace and they go inside. Tonight it’s almost the same routine as the first night Sid worked here. He gets ready, pulls on black boxer briefs, just to pull them off a little later in the window room above the bar. He jerks off to heavy base music, Geno on his left side, Gabe on his right. Geno doesn’t offer to help him again, so maybe it was just a one off thing on Sid’s first night. But Sid thinks of Geno’s big hands holding him down and he shoots his load on the smooth surface of the glass before the thought is over.

 

Sid goes to the locker room to regroup, chats with Geno about hockey, looks at pictures of the puppy Tyler just adopted, is introduced to a stunning, loud, black guy called PK, who is in the bird cage with Kappy tonight and then goes back out to do it all over again. He feels like a seasoned vet by the time he finally gets a slice of pizza after his third shift and takes a bottle of cold beer from Leon.

 

Sid eats his pizza on one of the couches, still wrapped in only a towel. All of the four shower stalls are currently occupied, but Sid doesn’t mind. His left leg is pressed up against Geno’s naked leg and whenever Geno leans forward for another slice, the coarse hair on their skin will rub excitingly against each other. Sid is suddenly very glad he has come three times already tonight, otherwise he’d be dealing with a very ill-timed accidental boner right now.

 

When Sid has taken his shower and put on some fresh pants - this time blessedly his own - he follows Geno and Kappy through the winding corridors to the club. He’s just about to sit down when Willy grabs his wrist and pulls him in the general direction of the dancefloor.

“Oh no you won’t” he tells Sid in a very stern voice. “We’re gonna dance tonight, because I haven’t seen that ridiculous butt of yours move, but I’m sure the effect will be awesome. So move it!”

Sid shakes his head no and digs his heels in. “No, I don’t dance, Willy. _Really_. I don’t.”

He tries to sound somewhat authorative, but he’s pretty sure he just sounds his usual trademark whiny.

 

“Leave Sid in peace,” comes a soft, dark voice from behind Sid.

Willy’s death grip around Sid’s wrist immediately loosens.

“But Geno” Willy whines. “He’s such a party pooper. And we just want him to shake that butt for us!” Willy points at Kappy and himself. Kappy shakes his head and lifts his hands.

“Leave me out of it,” he says before turning his back on them all and hopping the few steps to the dancefloor.

 

Willy pouts for another moment, before he stares Sid down and says “This isn’t over, Creature!” Then he follows Kappy to the crowd of moving, grinding, sweating people on the dancefloor.

Sid sighs a breath of relief. He just wants to turn around and thank Geno for saving him, but before he can move, he can feel Geno press up to him from behind and keep Sid in place with his hands low on Sid’s hip. Sid is forcefully reminded of the first time they stood like this, Geno pressed closely to Sid’s back, his mouth just next to Sid’s ear.

“You sure you not dance?” Geno murmurs and his plush lips brush Sid’s earlobe. Sid has to suppress a full body shudder.

“Maybe I’m help” Geno continues. Sid swallows hard. He’s pretty sure Geno must be able to hear his loud heartbeat over the deafening music.

“I’m good at helping Sid,” Geno says and starts swaying his hips slightly. Sid’s hips swing along out of their own accord.

 

A loud “Time for shots!” makes them jump. Geno’s hands slip from Sid’s hips and Sid takes a small step away from Geno. He still has trouble breathing properly. PK appears next to them with a tray of brightly colored shots and pushes one into Sid’s trembling hand.

“Here you go, Creature,” he booms and then hops off to serve Kappy and Willy. Geno clinks his own shot glass to Sid’s and Sid lifts his eyes to meet Geno’s gaze. It’s intent and dark, filled with something that Sid can only describe as _lust_ , even if he has never had a look like that trained on him.

“To us,” Geno says and they drink.

 

At the end of the night, Sid doesn’t need to wait for an uber. Geno drives him home, his hands sure and steady on the steering wheel. Sid is well on his way to being completely drunk and he can’t keep his eyes from them. Luckily Geno doesn’t seem to notice as he hums along off-key to something on the radio. When he pulls up in front of Sid’s building he puts the car in park but doesn’t turn off the engine.

“Thanks for the ride,” Sid says. He needs three tries to release the stupid seatbelt and Geno’s chuckle and his soft “Good night Sid. Sleep tight” warm him all the way up to his apartment.

 

*

 

Sid is surprised how fast the first two weeks at the Glitter Palace go by. He works every second night with varying people alongside him. Geno picks him up every time around 8.30pm, they drive to the club, Sid will get naked and jerk off, then they hang out by the bar and Geno will drive him home. He meets Biznasty, a loudmouthed entertainer and barkeeper, who only comes in once a week, because he is also working as a radio dj on campus radio. His dick is so ridiculously huge that Sid visibly flinches the first time he sees it in the window room above the bar. Biz laughs so hard at Sid’s facial expression, he actually has to leave the room for a minute to calm down.

 

Sid also hangs out a lot with Tom and Mike from behind the bar. They are really fun to be around and remind Sid of the kids on his old hockey team, always chirping and teasing each other about something. He talks to Auston a lot, when his shifts are over, because Auston has just started at the University of Pittsburgh and stills lives in the dorms. Sid can finally share his wisdom on which cafeteria food to avoid and which spots in the library have the best lighting.

 

Speaking of the library - Sid meets up with Geno there a couple of times, when Geno has a paper to finish. Usually Sid isn’t much for socializing when he actually tries to get some work done, but Geno is an excellent study buddy who doesn’t try to talk and distract Sid but instead keeps his head down and gets Sid and himself coffee in regular intervals. Of course Sid is still distracted, because it’s _Geno_ and he smells like fucking heaven.

Somehow Sid doesn’t really mind.

 

His first paycheck is so extravagantly big that Sid treats himself to take out one night, texting Geno to come over because he ordered way too much and so Geno comes to Sid’s apartment and they sit on the floor in his crappy little living room and watch the Penguins destroy the Sabres in the first regular game of the season. Geno ends up staying until almost 4 am, telling Sid about his childhood in Russia and listening intently when Sid tells him about his PhD thesis and his little sister who is currently kicking ass as a hockey goalie at Mary St. Shattuck's. It takes Sid almost another two weeks to realize why he suddenly sleeps better, eats better and generally feels better.

He’s _happy_. For the first time in years he is genuinely, mindblowingly happy.

 

Of course that is when it all starts to go to shit.

 

*

 

It starts harmless enough.

Sid is getting ready for another shift at the Palace. It’s almost November now and Sid has worked there for nearly a month and a half. He’s pretty much a pro now, even experimenting in the window room, winking at the audience and teasing them with tiny little hip movements and wiggles of his ass until the whistling and cheering becomes ear deafening. He’s only in the window room though, usually with Geno and some other guy. Geno hasn’t touched him since that first night and sometimes Sid is half convinced he dreamed it up in this crazy head of his. But every now and then when they hang out, he will catch Geno shooting him these _looks_ and suddenly the room temperature goes up by fifty degrees. It’s driving him insane and burns him up in the most excruciatingly delicious way.

 

So the arrival of a new entertainer serves as a cruel cold shower one night. Geno and him are just walking into the locker room, when a surprised voice says “ _Zhenya_?” and Geno spins around. Sid turns too, to see who spoke. He sees a skinny guy with short brown hair and a pretty average face. The guy has a bit of stubble on his jawline and he looks at Geno with his small eyes widened in surprise. Geno on the other hand looks like a ghost. He is chalk white and his mouth is drawn into a very thin line.

 

“Bryz, what you doing here?” he says.

Sid looks back and forth between them, just like most of the others in the room. The guy doesn’t answer straight away, just gives Geno a levelling look and then starts talking in very fast Russian. Geno answers, and even though Sid has no idea what they are saying, he can make out that Geno isn’t really talkative. His answers seem clipped and a bit snappy. The guy called Bryz seems highly amused by Geno’s reaction, his eyebrows climbing higher and higher on his forehead as his gaze flicks between Geno and Sid. He seems to say something teasing and that’s when Geno apparently reaches his breaking point, because he answers in a dark and aggressive tone, before turning on his heel and leaving the room, banging the door shut behind him. _Everybody_ is staring now.

 

Bryz looks at Sid and Sid’s engrained Canadian politeness takes over.

“Hey, I’m Sid” he says and holds out his hand.

“Ilya” the other man says and shakes it.

“Sorry about Geno” Sid says without actually knowing why he is apologizing in the first place.

Bryz - or Ilya apparently - raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, you call him _Geno_ , do you?” he asks and snorts a little.

Sid doesn’t know what to answer, so he goes after Geno to find out what this is all about.

 

He finds Geno behind the bar, very close in front of Alex and shouting himself hoarse. Alex shouts back, hands flying for emphasis and nearly slapping Mike and Tom in the face multiple times. As Sid approaches the bar, Mike passes him with a bucket of ice.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t try to get in the middle of that if I were you” he murmurs at Sid before fleeing the scene. Sid hesitates for a second. But his curiosity takes over in the end and he traipses up to the bar and then just stands there, at a loss for any plan of action.

 

Geno yells something at Alex that ends in the words “fucking dumbass” before he turns on his heel and stomps off, right past Sid.

“Geno, what-” Sid starts but Geno cuts him off.

“Not now, Sid” he barks.

“But-”

Geno spins around.

“Is not about you, Sid. Not everything always about you, okay? Now leave me _alone_!”

The venom in Geno’s voice is like a slapshot to the face and Sid just stares at him, stunned. Geno glares for a second longer and then stalks off in the direction of the exit.

Sid wants to cry.

 

When he gets back to the locker room, Geno is nowhere to be seen. Not that Sid is looking for him especially. He has to concentrate on his breathing to not break into tears. He hasn’t cried since he was fifteen and stopped playing hockey. But tonight he feels like his tear ducts have rediscovered their own existence and are ready to party. Sid gets undressed on autopilot, oiling up and waiting for his first shift. Sully comes in a little while later and makes his way over to Sid.

“So, um, Geno has apparently left.” he says in a low tone and Sid stares up at him.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Sully asks with a crease between his eyebrows.

 

“Is because of me” Bryz pipes up from his seat a few feet away. Sully and Sid both turn to look at him.

“I’m Geno’s ex, maybe I should have said before.” he says in his weird high-pitched voice as he rubs baby oil on his pecs.

Sully pulls up his eyebrows. “Yeah, maybe you should have” he answers in an even tone.

Bryz shrugs. “Not think is big deal, but apparently Zhenya not take so well.”

Sid has the sudden urge to smash something. Maybe Bryz’s stupid bland face. Wouldn’t _that_ be a nice starting point.

 

Sully looks a little longer at Bryz, who seems completely unperturbed and is humming to himself. Then he turns back to Sid.

“Alright, so we’ll have to improvise here. Can you still go in the window room? I actually need someone for the bird cage, but I guess the window room is more doable tonight.”

 

Sid doesn’t know what makes him say it. He is about to nod, but then the image of Geno’s vicious face spitting “Not everything about you, Sid” floats across his inner eye. Sid is surprisingly hurt, considering Geno is not even his- well, he doesn’t know _what_ the hell Geno is, but he is pissed off and in the mood for being reckless. So he looks at Sully and says as casually as he can muster “I could also go in the birdcage, if you want.”

Sully’s eyebrows shoot up once more.

 

“You sure?” he asks and Sid nods.

“Sure. Just tell me with who.” Then he shoots a look at Bryz and adds “Not him” in an undertone. Sully gives him a look he can’t really identify.

“PK was scheduled to go in there tonight, so-”

“Sure” Sid interjects and gets up. Sully gives him another look and turns back to the room at large.

“Alright kids, listen up. Change of plans tonight.”

 

Sid’s not even nervous when he and PK make their way through the corridors to the other side of the club. There’s a tiny black sliding door that opens into the cage and they stand in front of it to wait for the blinking red light signaling them to go in.

“What do you wanna do?” PK asks Sid as casually as other people inquire about weekend plans.

Sid shrugs. His heartbeat is up in his throat.

“Dunno” he answers. “Whatever is fine.”

PK snorts.

“Great enthusiasm, dude” he answers just as the light starts blinking.

Sid reaches for the door and turns his gaze to PK, whose face is cast into weird shadows from the light.

“Just do your thing, I’m good with whatever” he says and slides the door open.

 

The cage is above head height from the club floor and Sid has a tiny vertigo attack looking down before snapping his eyes up and at PK again. He’s here to do a _job_ , so he better get to it. He’s a pro, goddammit. PK slides the door shut behind him and grins at Sid.

“Alright Creature, let’s see what that butt can do,” he coos and grabs Sid’s hand to pull him closer. Sid goes.

 

They end up grinding against each other with the beat of music, PK’s hands on Sid’s hips. Sid loses himself in the movement a bit, his pulse still racing but his mind oddly sharp and clear. If Geno doesn’t want him - _fine_ ! Sid doesn’t need Geno to hold his hand at every step of the way. He can do stuff himself. With whoever he wants. Because Geno isn’t his boyfriend and frankly - he doesn’t really show any sign that he _wants_ to be. They’ve been hanging out for weeks and while Sid has concocted a fluffy little fantasy in his head about them slowly getting to know each other, almost maybe dating, and maybe, _maybe_ Geno being interested in Sid too, Geno probably hangs out with lots of people without it meaning anything. Hell, Sid hangs out with guys from the club without it meaning anything. It’s like that for Geno. Hanging out, eating take out and talking hockey. Not exactly romantic candlelight dinners. Only in Sid’s head were they ever the same thing.

Whatever. _Whatfuckingever_. He can do what he wants. Not a big deal.

 

Sid flinches a little when PK’s hands migrate to his ass and PK stills immediately.

“You good Creature?” he whispers in Sid’s ear.

“Yes” Sid whispers back and grinds up against PK a little harder. “Keep going. Please.”

And _oh_ , PK does. He grabs Sid’s butt through his boxers and starts kissing and sucking at Sid’s neck. Despite himself, Sid lets his head fall back on a moan, giving PK better access. Then he slides his hands up to cup PK through his boxers. They’re both almost all the way hard already.

 

The first contact of their mouths sends a jolt of electricity through Sid. He doesn’t fancy PK the way he has lusted after Geno these past few weeks, but nobody can deny that PK isn’t seriously hot. He also turns out to be a _very_ good kisser, so Sid sucks on his tongue greedily and opens his mouth a little wider to let PK in.

“Fuck, you’re hot” PK murmurs into Sid’s lips, before pulling at Sid’s boxers and pushing them downwards until they pool around his feet.

“What do you want?” Sid asks him, his hands wandering up and down PK’s chest.

“Can I suck you off?” PK asks back and pulls away a little to look Sid fully in the eyes.

Sid swallows and nods. He’s never been good at saying no to tempting stuff. PK gives him a grin and a wink before kissing Sid quickly and dropping to his knees.

 

It’s not the best blowjob Sid has ever had, but PK _definitely_ knows his way around a dick. He gives Sid a couple of tugs before sucking the head of Sid’s cock into his mouth and humming softly around it. Sid has to grip one of the bars of the cage to stop from keeling over.

“Fuck” he breathes. He’s pretty sure PK is grinning around his dick right now. Sid doesn’t care. He is too turned on to care much about anything honestly.

His other hand has migrated into PK’s short hair and he holds on for dear life, as PK starts bobbing his head up and down while rubbing his tongue on the underside of Sid’s dick.

 

It takes Sid a couple of minutes to realize that PK’s right hand is working rapidly between his own dark, strong thighs and in the end _that_ is kinda the thing that pushes Sid over the edge. The thought that PK is so turned on from just sucking Sid’s dick that he has to rub one out at the same time. Sid isn’t used to people being turned on by him. It’s still a novelty and it turns out he _likes_ it. It gives him an illicit thrill to have this gorgeous man with his clever tongue on his knees for him. Sid is barely able to tap PK’s head in warning before he comes.

 

Maybe PK didn’t get the signal or he simply doesn’t care, because he lets Sid spill in his mouth and keeps sucking greedily, while cupping Sid’s drawn up balls until Sid pushes him away, oversensitive and trembling. PK just lets himself fall back against the bars, still stroking his own cock at a brutal pace. Before Sid can decide whether to help him out or not, PK has thrown his head back and is coming in hot spurts all over his impressive abs. Sid licks his lips. Their eyes meet and even though PK is still panting, he gives Sid a tiny grin. The music is too loud to hear, but Sid can read the words on PK’s lips.

“Good game, Creature.”

 

Sid rolls his eyes but gives PK a hand up, suddenly feeling bone-achingly tired. PK leans in for a quick kiss.

“ _Ugh_ , your breath stinks. Like jizz!” Sid says before he can stop himself.

PK blinks at him and then bursts out into a howling giggle.

Sid joins in a little reluctantly, because, _yeah okay_ , that might have been rude. When PK pulls him in to lean onto each other in their laughter, Sid turns his head, so his temple comes to rest on PK’s clavicle. Sid’s eyes sweep over the room at large.

 

It’s pretty dark in the club, but Sid is confident he could pick out the exact shape of Geno’s head, neck and shoulders from anywhere and even in near total darkness.

Sids stomach drops, as he stares at Geno standing next to the bar. Their eyes meet briefly.  

 _Fuck_.

 

Sid has had exactly one panic attack in his life so far. Tonight, he is pretty sure, will be the time for the second one. He barely makes it to the locker room and dashes past everybody in there to the bathroom, where he locks himself into a stall before it starts.

First, everything becomes blurry and it feels like there’s a boa constrictor around his rib cage, _slowly_ squeezing tighter and tighter until Sid can’t breathe. Then a prickling crawls up his spine, making his skin feel itchy and too tight. Everything is too hot and too cold at the same time, there is not enough air in his lungs and his head feels like it’s splitting and he might be sick but also he just wants to get out of here and run, only he doesn’t know where to and also everything is spinning and Sid needs to get _out_ , away from here, he needs- He is fumbling with the stupid latch on the door, because he can’t be in here _one_ second longer and maybe he should drink something or throw up or stop existing completely.

 

Sid rips the door open and topples out of the stall, directly into a very defined chest.

“Shh buddy, shh, I got you” Sid hears someone tell him. Then there are arms around him, pulling him in and Sid realizes that the dry, heaving sobs he can hear are coming from his own mouth.

“Just breathe, okay?” the voice tells him. “Slowly. Just in and out. That’s it.”

Sid tries to listens to the voice, even though his legs feel numb and his toes are curling up for some reason.

“You’re hyperventilating, buddy,” the voice says in a very calm tone. “I need you to breathe a little slower for me, okay? Just slow down. _Easy_ does it.”

Everything starts coming into a focus a little more after a few seconds.

 

The first thing Sid realizes, is that the person holding him is Tyler.

The second thing he realizes, is that they are both just wearing boxers - stained ones, in Sid’s case - and he honestly doesn’t care.

He has never cared so little about _anything_ ever in his life. He just wants Tyler to keep holding him, because Sid is pretty sure the world will explode into pieces the second he lets go. He tightens his grip around Tyler’s middle and buries his face in his chest. Tyler pulls at him, until they are sitting on the tiled bathroom floor, Tyler with his back to the wall and his bent legs spread wide, Sid sort of curled in between them, still clinging to Tyler like a baby monkey.

“Shh buddy,” Tyler says again. “You’re good. I got you. Don’t worry, boo.”

His hands rub the feeling back into Sid’s arms and legs.

 

It’s Jamie who finds them like this.

Sid can’t see Jamie’s face, because he has buried his own in Tyler’s chest again, as tears finally, _finally_ streak down his cheeks. Sid can hear the door open and feel Tyler motion at something, then the door closes quietly again. Tyler’s hands keep stroking up and down Sid’s spine in rhythm with his slow breathing.

 

He doesn’t want to move. Ever. Even though his legs are cramping up. The door opens again and then Jamie is there, crouching down and covering Sid in something soft and warm. A blanket apparently. Jamie sits down next to them and hands Tyler a water bottle. Tyler takes a few gulps and then softly taps Sid on the forehead with it.

“You want some, Creature?” he whispers.

Weirdly, the return to the nickname - even though Sid still hates it - feels good. If Tyler thinks that Sid won’t break at the slightest touch, he probably actually won’t. That’s good, Sid decides.

 

“Thanks” he murmurs and takes the water bottle.

His eyes feel really puffy and heavy. Sid empties the entire bottle and hands it back to Jamie, who throws it into the waste paper basket without getting up. Sid kinda slumps back sideways into Tyler’s chest and Tyler drapes the blanket back around him.

“You wanna tell us what happened, Creature, or do you just want to sit here a little while longer with us?” he asks Sid quietly.

“Can we just sit?” Sid asks in a whisper.

“Sure we can.” Tyler says and rests his chin on the top of Sid’s head. Jamie’s hand strokes Sid’s shoulder.

 

Sid has no idea how Jamie and Tyler manage it, but they bring him his clothes into the bathroom, get him dressed and out of the Glitter Palace, without anybody so much as trying to stop them. Sully just nods at Sid when they pass him and rests one of his huge hands briefly on Sid’s head, his thumb rubbing over Sid’s brow. Sid feels a bit like a child being blessed by the Pope.  

 

Jamie and Tyler more or less pour him into the backseat of their new Toyota. Sid is so unbelievably tired, he just wants to sleep for like two weeks straight. He must doze off at some point, because when he comes to, he can just hear the last fragments of a hushed conversation between Tyler and Jamie.

“...panic attack…” “...Geno left…” “...I don’t know...Ovi didn’t say…”

Sid decides to stop listening and go back to sleep. And for once his body obliges.

 

*

 

He wakes up the next morning on Tyler’s and Jamie’s huge couch, with an excited labrador puppy licking his face.

“Shit, Gerry, come back here!” somebody hisses and Sid is so disorientated that it takes him a while to open his swollen eyelids and focus his gaze on Tyler, frantically trying to catch the straw colored puppy by its collar.

 

“Hey, you’re up,” Tyler says when he realizes that Sid’s eyes are open.

Sid nods and sits up, the puppy apparently taking this as an invitation to jump up the couch and into Sid’s lap, where it immediately goes on its hind legs and starts licking Sid’s face.

“Gerry!” Tyler admonishes, but Sid has to giggle and so Tyler leaves the puppy where it is.

“Hey there,” Sid says softly at the tiny dog and carefully strokes its gleaming fur.

The puppy wags its tail excitedly.

“Sorry about that,” Tyler says, flopping down on the couch next to Sid. “I just wanted to let him out real quick, but he kinda got away from me for a second.”

Sid shrugs and keeps stroking the puppy. “Worse ways to be woken up, to be honest,” he answers.

Tyler grins.

“That’s true.”

 

They make their way to the kitchen with Gerry in tow and Tyler starts pushing buttons on a big and very confusing looking coffee maker. Sid sits down at the kitchen island when Jamie comes in, still in his boxers and an old Canucks shirt. He grunts softly at Sid and then walks over to Tyler to drape himself over Tyler’s back and nose at his neck.

“Morning, babe” Tyler says in a soft tone.

It might or might not rip Sid’s heart out a little. _This_ . This is what he always wanted. Someone to be comfortable with. Someone who just touches him, not even in a sexy way but kinda like “You are mine and I am yours and so I’m just gonna drape myself around you, because I’m still half asleep and you’re making coffee.” Sid _aches_ for that.

 

Tyler turns around to give Jamie a tiny kiss on the nose.

“Go and take a shower. I’ll make breakfast.”

Jamie grunts again and kisses Tyler on the mouth quickly before disappearing in the direction of the bathroom.

Tyler comes over to Sid and puts a cup of coffee in front of him, along with a sugar bowl and milk from the fridge.

“Thanks” Sid says gratefully while starting to doctor his coffee.

Tyler gives him almost a full minute before speaking again.

 

“So I’m guessing you still don’t want to talk about last night-”

Sid makes a jerky movement that might be a headshake.

“-so I’m just gonna guess and you correct me if I’m horribly wrong.” Tyler finishes.

Sid nods reluctantly. Tyler mirrors his nod and takes a sip from his own mug.

“Alright. So the new guy came in, Geno freaked out and yelled a lot at everyone. I’m guessing he also yelled at you.” Tyler stops and looks at Sid for confirmation. Sid nods.

“Okay, so he yells at you and takes off and you wanna get some revenge and decide to lose your birdcage virginity to PK, even though you are having a huge emotional boner for that tall, goofy Russian dude we all know and love.”

Sid rolls his eyes but nods again. There’s a pinching ache in his throat and he hastily gulps down some coffee to make it go away.

 

“So you get to the cage, PK told me you both had a good time but then you storm into the locker room looking like somebody just shot your mom in front of you and lock yourself in a bathroom stall with a full blown panic attack.”

Sid drinks more coffee but doesn’t protest.

“So,” Tyler says in a hesitant tone, “what happened between the orgasm and the hyperventilating that I missed?”

 

Sid can’t even look at Tyler when he says it. He stares into his coffee and tries to hold back the fresh tears that start to well up in his eyes.

“Geno saw us,” he whispers. “He came back and I looked over to the bar where he stood and he saw me and PK in the cage.”

Tyler is silent. Sid looks up. Tyler looks- a little confused.

“Um,” Tyler says and cocks his head a bit. “Okay. Don’t yell at me or anything, but, um- _so what_?”

Sid stares at him.

 

“What do you mean ‘so what’? Geno saw us, Tyler! He saw PK suck me off and us laughing together afterwards and-”

“Is Geno your boyfriend?” Tyler interrupts him.

“What? No, you know he isn’t!”

“Well then I don’t see what the problem is, frankly.” Tyler says and takes another sip of his coffee.

Sid is at a loss for words. He just stares at Tyler with his mouth agape. Jamie comes back from the bathroom, his hair still wet. He’s dressed in jeans and a hoodie and immediately goes for the coffeemaker to get himself some caffeine as well.

 

Sid finally closes his mouth. He forgot who he was talking to. Of course Tyler, who never had a monogamous relationship before Jamie would think that. _Of course_ he would.

“Listen,” Sid starts. “It’s- I like Geno and I thought he liked me. And-”

Tyler interrupts him again, this time with a snort.

“Oh _please_ , Creature, can you at least not bullshit me after last night? You don’t _like_ Geno, you’re totally in love with the guy. _Everybody_ knows that!”

Sid stares at Tyler in fresh horror.

“Well, except for Geno,” Tyler hastily adds, correctly identifying Sid’s panic. “He doesn’t have any idea. Special kind of clueless, that dude.”

 

“Tyler,” Jamie softly admonishes as he comes to join them at the counter. “Maybe let Sid say his piece.”

“Right. Sure. Sorry.” Tyler says. “Continue, Creature.”

Sid is chewing on his lips now. His panic has subsided somewhat, but the gnawing disgust about what he did last night is still there.

“I mean- it’s not like we were _dating_ dating,” he continues. “But we- we hung out a lot in the past few weeks, and- it was- it was really _nice_.”

Sid looks into his mug again. It’s almost empty.

A large hand reaches for it and when Sid looks up he sees Jamie, gently tugging the mug out of Sid’s hand, taking it over to the coffee maker and filling it up again.

Tyler looks at Sid with a thoughtful expression on his face.

 

“Alright, Creature, I’ll give you my honest opinion and advice now, and you can do with it whatever you like.” Tyler leans forward to face Sid over the counter. “I get that you’re in love with G, and he’s so stupidly, _obviously_ in love with you back, it’s ridiculous. Bu-”

“Geno’s not in love with me!” Sid blurts out before he can stop himself. He’s staring at Tyler with wide eyes, heart hammering wildly against his sternum.

Tyler just gives him the most levelling side-eye Sid has ever seen. Then he lifts his right hand and pinches the bridge of his nose with his left.

“Okay, we’re not even gonna _discuss_ that one, because it’s ass o’clock in the morning and I haven’t even had my first cigarette yet.”

Tyler sounds like a put upon hockey mom and from the corner of his eyes Sid can see Jamie grin to himself as he slinks over to bring Sid his fresh coffee.

 

“Listen,” Tyler continues, “he yelled at you, you got angry and did something you might not have done otherwise. But, you didn’t do anything _wrong_. You said it yourself - Geno is not your boyfriend. He might like to be and you might like him to be, but unless one of you idiots makes a move and jumps on the other one’s dick - you can fuck whoever you want!”

Sid squirms a little in his seat.

“It’s not that ea-” he starts, but Tyler interrupts him again.

“It _is_ that fucking easy, Creature.

When Sid looks over to Jamie, Jamie nods in agreement.

“It actually kinda is, Sid,” he says in his soft voice. “But you should definitely go and talk to Geno about this.”

 

Sid sighs and looks back at his coffee cup.

“Can’t I just hang out here with you guys and play with your puppy for a while?” he asks a little petulantly. Tyler grins at him.

“Well. The answer to _that_ question is and always will be a solid ‘yes’.”

 

*

 

Geno hasn’t yet texted Sid when 8.30pm rolls around the next day. And Sid has been too much of a chickenshit to text Geno. He has decided not to take the bus but call himself an uber to the club, but when Sid goes downstairs to wait for the driver, a familiar black car pulls up to the curb and Geno opens the driver side door for Sid. Sid is frozen in place for a second. Eventually he tells his feet very firmly to get a move on and take the few steps over to where Geno is waiting.

“Hey,” Sid says very quietly when he slips into the driver’s seat and closes the door behind him.

“Hey,” Geno answers and pulls the car back into traffic.

 

Sid fastens his seatbelt and looks straight ahead. His hands are shaking badly. He clasps them in his lap and chances a glance at Geno, whose profile looks sharp in the street lights. It’s dark in the car, but there are grey circles under his eyes and he looks so miserable that Sid’s heart breaks a little. Over the past 24 hours Sid has come to the conclusion that Tyler and Jamie were in fact right and that _technically_ Sid didn’t do anything wrong. But one look at Geno’s sad hangdog face and Sid wants to throw all of his convictions out the car window and beg on his hands and knees for Geno’s forgiveness.

 

“I’m want to say sorry, Sid,” Geno blurts out suddenly.

Sid jerks his head around so fast he hears something crick in the back of his neck.

“W-what?” he asks with a trembling voice.

Geno rubs his right hand briefly over his eyes and looks back at the road.

“I’m jerk to you, two days ago. Just- _most_ stupid.” Geno sighs. “I’m- angry at Bryz and at Sasha and at myself, but not at you. But I’m yell at you and that’s not okay. So I’m want to say sorry and hope you forgive me for shouting.”

 

Sid is dumbstruck. He expected a lot of things, but not this. _Never_ this. Geno is apologizing for being a jerk. Not even mentioning that Sid practically threw himself at PK, mere minutes after the whole shouting incident. Not mentioning that Sid did something really, _really_ stupid.

“We okay, Sid?” Geno’s voice comes from the other side of the car, small and miserable.

“Yeah,” Sid hastily says and nods. “Yeah, absolutely! Sure we are, Geno.”

Geno smiles at that. The first real smile Sid has seen from him since before two nights ago.

“Good,” he says with a relieved sigh. “Was so worried I mess up with you and lose you as my friend.”

Sid swallows hard. _Friend_. Right.

 

Geno parks his car in the usual spot at the club and pulls the key out of the ignition. His hand is already on the door handle when Sid holds him back.

“Geno, wait!”

Geno turns to look at Sid.

“Listen-” Sid starts and fidgets a bit in his seat. “I- I know you saw me in the birdcage. You know- with PK.”

Geno gives Sid an unidentifiable look.

“Well- I just- I guess I wanted to tell you that it didn’t mean anything?” Sid says and looks up.

Geno gives him a small smile.

“Okay.” he says and gets out of the car. Sid gets out too.

 _Okay_.

Okay?

Okay!

What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?

 

Sid is still wondering what kind of monster - or complete and utter _idiot_ \- would answer a statement like Sid’s with a simple ‘Okay’ when they enter the locker room. The usual shouts and chirps fill the air and Sid answers them on autopilot on the way to his seat. He has just put his bag down and started to take off his hoodie when PK shows up next to him.

“Creature, hey, can I talk to you real quick?” PK asks much more quietly than his usual volume.

Sid suppresses the urge to look over to Geno and nods, so they make their way to the bathroom. PK closes the door behind them.

 

“Um-” Sid says but PK cuts him off.

“Look, I just wanted to make sure we’re okay? Jamie kinda told me you had a panic attack after I sucked you off and I just wanted you to know that if I did _anything_ without your full consent, I am so very sorry.”

Sid blinks at PK for a second.

“No. No!” he answers. “It’s- God no, PK! That had nothing to do with you. Believe me, I was down with what we were doing. I _really_ was.”

PK visibly relaxes a bit.

“Okay,” he says.

Oh, how Sid _hates_ that word! PK laughs a little relieved.

“Wow, I was worried, man.” he tells Sid.

Sid shakes his head a little ruefully.

“Sorry, I didn’t even think about what that must have looked like from the outside.”

 

Before PK can answer, there’s a bang on the door and Geno pushes it open to look inside. His face and tone are carefully neutral when he looks at Sid.

“Sorry to interrupt _date_ , but we start soon, Sid. Need to get ready.”

Sid can’t even nod before Geno lets the door fall shut again. Sid frowns in confusion. What was that about? He looks over to PK for any sort of explanation, but PK is already grinning a little slyly at Sid.

“Yeah, I’m not one to give unsolicited advice,” he says, “but you should talk to your man, Creature.” And with that he leaves Sid in the bathroom.

 

Sid is kinda amazed, how _‘okay’_ things between him and Geno actually seem to be in the following weeks. They hang out at the library like before, studying and getting lunch at the campus cafeteria, sometimes joined by Jamie or Auston and Mitch. They even go in on a joint birthday gift for Leon and attend his birthday party together. Connor, the rich kid with a crush on Leon has rented a club downtown, where they dance on a rooftop terrace and sing an offkey rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ around midnight. Mitch goes to the bathroom at some point, only to come back a minute later, white as a sheet and with a facial expression that is equal parts horrified and confused.

“They are doing _unspeakable_ things in there,” is all he says before downing three shots in a row. When Leon and Connor emerge from the bathroom a couple of minutes later, it’s to a hooting, drunken row of Glitter Palace employees with polaroid cameras.

 

Sid hasn’t talked to Geno about his night in the birdcage anymore, but he is firmly back in the window room above the bar. He jerks himself off, with a varying assortment of other entertainers on his right side and Geno on his left. Nobody touches him anymore. Nobody but himself.

 

Even the casual touches from Geno have stopped completely. Before their fight, Geno used to put his arm around Sid’s shoulder when they walked from the car to the club entrance. He ushered Sid into rooms with a hand on Sid’s lower back, plucked pieces of lint from Sid’s sweaters or eyelashes from Sid’s cheek. He helped himself to a thousand little, friendly touches that left Sid wanting stuff he couldn’t even _contemplate_ to ask for.

Not anymore. Sid doesn’t know whether to be relieved or heartbroken.

 

*

 

It’s not until the week before Christmas that the other shoe finally drops.

 

Fridays are usually the busiest night at the Glitter Palace, with huge crowds that leave lavish tips in the golden tip jar for the entertainers, which sits on a tacky, faux-greek pillar right next to the bar. But maybe it’s because it’s close to Christmas and a lot of people are at home with their families, or maybe it’s just an off night, but Sully tells Sid he only needs to take two shifts in the window room that night. So Sid takes a quick shower and heads down to take his usual seat at the bar. He’s idly sipping his cocktail, watching Tom and Mike bicker over something - or flirting, really, it’s hard to tell - and waiting for Geno to be done with his shift. Geno had wanted to talk to Sid about going skating the next night. There’s an outdoor rink close to campus they’ve been meaning to try out for a while.

 

Burky is back tonight, after having been with his family in Sweden for weeks. His sister had twins, so Burky essentially canceled most of his semester and flew back to coo over tiny humans and drive Sid insane with endless texts containing a gazillion baby pictures. Tonight at least he’s pestering Alex, who surprisingly doesn’t seem to mind that much.

“Beautiful babies, Burky” he says a little wistfully as he turns away to cut up some lemons. Sid is horrified and amused in equal measure when he catches Alex wipe his eyes a little on his apron. He is _so_ gonna tell Geno about this.

 

“So, what did I miss?” Burky says. He has finally put down his phone and takes a swig from his beer bottle.

“Any drama? Any new couples? Any funny anecdotes about regulars?”

Sid grins. Then he remembers that Burky wasn’t here for the weird fight Geno and him had, and his heart sinks. He _really_ doesn’t want to talk about that.

“We have a new entertainer,” Mike says, as he pours rum into a shot glass. “Bryz or something. Alex and Geno know him.”

Sid is suddenly very interested in the lime slices at the bottom of his drink.

 

“Yeah well,” Alex grumbles, “if I knew what kind of man Bryz is before, he would not work here now. But Geno said it’s too late and damage is done.”

Burky looks confused and Sid glances up at Alex. He never found out why Geno yelled at Alex so much that night. He sorta assumed it was just anger about an ex showing up unannounced. But now that Sid comes to think of it, Geno and Alex haven’t so much as acknowledged Bryz’s presence in the room since then. Even though Bryz can be quite funny, chatting up a storm with Biz and PK whenever the three of them are working on the same night.

“What do you mean?” Burky asks and yanks Sid out of his thoughts and back into the conversation.

 

Alex grumbles a little more and accidentally squishes a lemon too hard. Juice is squirting into all directions and Alex curses soundly in Russian.

“I mean-” he says, when he has wiped the juice from his black shirt with the back of his hand, “that Bryz is not a good man and I should have kicked his ass when I had chance.”

“Why?” This time it’s Sid who asks.

Alex looks at him with a thoughtful look in his eyes.

“Geno not tell you?”

Sid shakes his head.

“Then maybe I shouldn’t-”

“Oh come _oooon_ ,” Burky wheedles and looks at Alex imploringly. “Just tell us why we all hate him.”

 

Alex sighs.

“He and Zhen- I mean Geno, they used to date. Back in Moscow. Geno is from small town a bit away from Moscow originally, but he came to Moscow to study. Back then, he strips in gay bar to pay for classes, and Moscow- well, Russia is not easy for gay men, you know?” Alex wipes his hand on a dish towel over his shoulder. “I know Geno then, but not well. We work at the bar together, strip for money and try to hide from our families what we do. What we _are_.”

“You were a stripper, Ovi?” Tom asks with a grin on his face. He and Mike have sidled up next to Alex, the bar being devoid of new customers for the moment.

“Shut up,” Alex fires back. “I was best stripper in whole town. Made lots of money.” He puffs out his chest a little. “Only stop when I meet Nicky. He was exchange student but he got job here in the US, so I went with him. Best thing I ever do.” He looks down at the wedding ring on his left hand and smiles wistfully.

 

“Okay, can we get back to the story?” Burky asks impatiently.

Alex tsks and looks up again.

“Geno meet Bryz at the club and we both like him. I think Geno was little bit in love with Bryz, but not because Bryz was so great. Just because Bryz wanted him. He came in one day and see Geno, and just decide that Geno was _his_. So Geno was.”

Sid swallows and looks down into his drink. He doesn’t want to think about Geno with anybody else. Even though Geno only wants Sid as his _friend_. Even so. Sid just- he just likes Geno so much.

 

“Well,” Alex continues, “Geno gets scholarship for his Master’s degree here in Pittsburgh and calls me. I say he can stay with me and I tell him he can work here at Glitter Palace. So Geno packs his bags and tells Bryz they should end their relationship, because Geno will be in America and Bryz will stay behind. I think Geno was little bit relieved to have reason for ending it, to be honest.”

Sid realizes belatedly that his arms are lying in something wet and sticky on the bar, because he has leaned forwards to not miss a single word Alex is saying over the thumping music of the club.

 

Alex is rubbing the back of his neck with a hand.

“Now, I don’t know this, only find out last month, when Bryz comes here. I thought they ended and Geno came here and everything is fine. Geno was a bit sad when he come to America, but I think he just homesick or something.” He trails off and starts fiddling with a piece of lemon on the cutting board.

“What didn’t you know?” Mike asks. He sounds breathless. The suspension seems to be killing them all.

Alex sighs and looks up. His eyes graze Sid before they settle on a point somewhere on the dancefloor behind him.

“Apparently Bryz doesn’t take break up so good. He sends email to Geno’s parents, with pictures of him and Geno in bed. Says ‘Your son is gay, he strips for money’. Geno’s parents are very traditional, so it’s big shock. Geno tells me they haven’t spoken to him since then. Say he is shame for entire family.”

 

Sid is frozen in place. There’s a ringing in his ears that drowns everything out. Like a hive of hornets right behind his eardrums, waiting to be released. Bryz _outed_ Geno. Outed him against his will. To his family. To everyone. Geno has told Sid that he hasn’t been back to Russia since he came here, but he never named a specific reason. Sid had just assumed it was money related. But now. _Now_ Sid knows. And the rage that fills him is so all encompassing, he feels like he is filled with dark matter, ready to swallow a goddamn fucking galaxy.

 

He doesn’t really hear Alex or the any of the others when he gets up in a daze. Doesn’t register their confused glances as he strides away to the door that leads to the corridors. He doesn’t stop to answer a question Chara asks him in passing, just walks on to the locker room door.

It slams against the wall with a loud crash when Sid forcefully pushes it open. Everybody in the room turns to look at him in surprise, but Sid doesn’t acknowledge any of them. Not Geno, apparently in the middle of telling a joke, freshly showered and halfway in his pants, a slice of pizza hanging from his mouth. Not Tyler on Jamie’s lap, not Willy with jizz still coating his belly, stretched out on the couch, his head pillowed on Kappy’s thigh. Sid just scans the room for one person and when he finds him, he is right in front of him and in his face in a matter of seconds.

 

He fists his hands in the front of Bryz’s sweater and slams him into the part of wall right behind them. There’s a shout from behind Sid and Bryz lets out a shocked sound, but Sid doesn’t care.

“You. Fucking. Piece of _Shit_.” he spits into the smug little face in front of him and slams Bryz against the wall again. A bit of plaster flutters down on them both.

“Wh-” Bryz starts but Sid isn’t done. Not by a mile. He hasn’t even started yet.

“ _You outed Geno_ ,” he yells at Bryz, his voice almost giving out.

There’s dead silence in the room.

“You fucking outed him to his family, you scum, you absolute piece of fucking gar-”

“Let me go!” Bryz interrupts him and struggles against Sid’s hold for the first time.

 

Sid doesn’t let go. He’s not a fighter - never has been. He _never_ fought and he never fought back.

Not when the first whispers in his youth team surrounded him on the ice - “Have you heard? Sid tried to kiss Jack last night!” “Sid likes cock!” “Oh my God, Crosby’s a _fag_!”.

Not when the Habs youth prospect training camp became the worst two weeks of Sid’s entire life.

Not when his teammates - his supposed friends - dragged him and Jack out of bed and into the showers in the middle of the night and proceeded to taunt them for so long, Jack eventually broke and claimed Sid had forced himself on him.

Not even when they then beat the crap out of him and Sid’s dad had to come in the next day to pick his bruised and battered son up from training camp early.

Not when Sid was plagued by nightmares for weeks and months after, wetting the bed and doing laundry and flipping his mattress in the dead of night so his mom wouldn’t know.

 

Sid went through all of that and never, _never_ has he fought back. He just stopped playing hockey. Stopped hanging out with his old friends. Kept his head down and studied hard, graduated high school a year early and moved as far away as he could manage. When he had met his first boyfriend and had his first real kiss and his first time waking up next to someone, looking at them in the soft morning light and feeling floaty and happy, he told himself that _this_ was much better than actual revenge.

 

It was the best sort of revenge, because he was happy and these assholes couldn’t hurt him anymore. They had forced him to come out to his parents much earlier than he wanted and had forced him to give up a sport that he loved, but in the end - _they_ were the real losers. Because Sid was happy with who he was and they would never, _ever_ understand that.

 

Now though - now that Sid has Bryz by the throat and up against a wall, he is ready to admit how fucking wrong he was. Because this son of a bitch reminds him so much of all the faces that have taunted Sid in his youth. And it might not be ethically and morally sound, but _fuck ethics_ \- Sid feels more awake than he has done in years!

 

“Let me down,” Bryz shouts again and there is movement behind Sid, people coming to pull them apart.

“No I fucking won’t,” Sid snarls and fists Bryz’s sweater even tighter. “Not until you admit what you did and apologize to Geno, you fucking piece of-”

“Okay,” Bryz shouts, a hint of panic in his voice. “Okay, I have admitted already. I was angry and so I say to Zhenya’s parents that he is gay.”

Sid breathes heavily. His pulse is still racing. He can hear Gabe halfheartedly say “C’mon Creature, let him down,” but he ignores it.

“Say sorry,” Sid presses out between clenched teeth. “Say sorry and _mean_ it.”

Bryz rolls his eyes but stops when Sid shakes him a little.

“Okay, okay,” Bryz hastily says. “Sorry! You happy now?”

Bryz snarls at Sid and tries to wriggle out of Sid’s grasp again.

“Can let me go now? Or you need to keep being golden knight for princess Zhenya?”

 

 _Princess_ . Sid’s head on the wet tiles of that bathroom in Montreal. A deep gash in his lip and blood streaming from his broken nose. An ache in every part of his body and still the kicks and slaps wouldn’t stop. His tears had stung in the open wounds on his face. And then a voice had drowned the pain in something much sharper: “Oh look, Princess Crosby is _crying_!”

 

Sid’s fist is in Bryz’s face before he knows what happened. There are yells behind him and strong arms yanking him back. His hand is still pummeling every part of Bryz he can reach, his feet are kicking out when he is forcefully lifted from the ground and dragged away. Sid can see the blood streaming down Bryz's shocked face, can hear his own voice hurling every curse he has ever known at him, but it feels like it’s not even him doing all of this. He is just so fucking _angry_ , his fury could obliterate this building, this city - the entire state if it must. Burn everything to dust and ashes. Burn every evil, taunting face in the world to a crisp.

 

The parking lot behind the club is dark and quiet, wet asphalt, a mix of snow and rain falling from a steal colored sky. Fresh oxygen fills Sid’s lungs when Jamie pushes Sid outside. He can still hear the faint sounds of a commotion coming from inside, but then the door closes and there’s silence.

 

Tyler, Jamie and Leon have followed Sid out. Jamie and Leon stare at Sid with something like apprehension, but Tyler just fishes a pack of cigarettes from his jeans pocket, taking two cigarettes out and lighting them. He hands one to Sid, and even though Sid has maybe smoked two cigarettes and a handful of joints in his entire life and doesn’t actually enjoy the taste that much - _now_ is definitely the right time for a smoke. Hell, he’d smoke a fucking cigar at this point. He has finally stood his ground. Fought back. Let _someone else_ feel his own pain.

 

“That was quite the show, Creature,” Tyler says after a couple of drags.

Sid huffs out a short laugh. He is shaking slightly. Leon takes off his cardigan and hands it to Sid without a word.

“He deserved it,” Sid says, pulling the cardigan over his shoulders.

“He did,” Jamie quietly agrees.

Leon and Tyler nod in unison. Sid takes another drag of smoke. The nicotine is calming him down a bit.

“What happens now?” he asks nobody in particular.

“Sully will take care of it,” Leon says and Sid nods.

They all fall silent.

 

It takes almost ten minutes for the backstage door to open and Sully to come out. He looks around them all.

“Could you guys give me a moment with Sid, please?” he asks the others.

They all nod and turn to leave. Tyler flicks his cigarette away and claps Sid on the shoulder as he goes inside. Sid has the sudden urge to beg them to stay.

 

“Care to explain?” Sully asks calmly when they are alone.

Sid swallows and steps out his own cigarette.

“He outed Geno.” Sid says so quietly it’s almost a whisper. “He outed Geno to his family, Sully!” He looks up at his boss. “They don’t talk to him anymore and Geno hasn’t been in Russia since then. I just found out tonight, and- I couldn’t- It was-”

Sid falls silent.

 

Sully sighs and scrubs a hand through his short hair. Then he looks back up at Sid.

“The guys in there told me as much. What I guess I don’t understand is why you had to beat his face into a mush instead of coming to me.”

“I-” Sid starts and then falters. “It just made me so- so fucking angry, Sully.” He bites his lip.

God, he is so much trouble. Having panic attacks all over the place, being complicated with his shifts, only wanting to work in the window room, and now _this_. His sorry ass is so, so fired, Sid is sure of it.

 

Sully sighs again.

“Look, I get it,” Sully finally says. “I probably would have done the same if I were you.”

Sid’s head snaps up. What now?

Sully chuckles a little ruefully at Sid’s expression.

“I used to be quite the hothead when I was younger, believe it or not.” he says. “I once beat up half a frat party, because they were mocking my older brother for being gay.”

Sid is again revisited by the strong urge to ask Sully to adopt him.

Sully smiles at Sid a little sadly and nods.

 

“You’re alright, kiddo. I‘m not gonna fire you or anything. Don’t worry.”

“Wh-” Sid starts and then has to stop to swallow down some tears. Good Lord, what is _up_ with all of this crying?

“I talked to Bryzgalov,” Sully continues.

Sid needs a second to realize Sully is talking about Bryz.

“He’s not gonna press charges, if I pay him for the rest of the month. But this was _definitely_ his last night working here.”

Sully’s mouth is set in a very firm line.

“I don’t tolerate bullies, but I also don’t tolerate violence of _any_ sort in my club. So the next time somebody pisses you off, you come to me first. Is that understood, Crosby?”

Sid nods firmly.

“Yes, sir.”

 

*

 

It’s Willy who gives Sid a ride home that night. Geno is nowhere to be seen when Sid finally makes his way back into the locker room. Neither is Bryz. Everybody claps Sid on the shoulders when he passes, PK even pulling him in for a hug and whispering “You show them, Creature” into Sid’s ear. Sid definitely doesn’t tear up at that. He does _not_ , thank you very much!

 

Willy is just standing with Sid’s back slung over his shoulder and his car keys in hand next to Sid’s seat when Sid makes his way over and Sid follows him outside to the flashy BMW parked in front of the club. Geno’s beat up old car is not in its usual spot.

 

“That was a good thing you did tonight, Creature.” Willy says as he lets Sid out in front of his apartment building.

Sid smiles weakly and waves Willy off before climbing the three flights of stairs to his shitty little apartment and crawling into his bed without even brushing his teeth. He’s asleep in seconds.

 

He is woken by somebody knocking on his door. It takes Sid a while to fully wake up and when he chances a look at his old alarm clock, he sees it’s already 11am. He has slept a solid eight hours, which- well, let’s just say finally fighting back must have done him some good. The knock on the door returns, a little more insistent this time, and Sid gets up with a groan and slouches to the door. He’s not really expecting anybody.

 

He opens the door to Geno, standing outside with a takeout bag in his hand. Geno’s hair looks like he combed his hands through it a thousand times and there are deep grooves under his eyes and between his eyebrows.

“Hey,” Sid says a little taken aback.

Geno smiles at him hesitantly, then lifts the takeout bag.

“Breakfast?”

Sid opens the door wide to let him in.

 

Sid slips into the bathroom quickly to take a piss and scrub his teeth vigorously, even using some of the mouthwash PK has recently taken to leave on his desk at the club. Apparently Sid’s “Your breath smells like jizz” comment was hilarious enough to set off a new tradition involving PK putting travel size Listerine bottles all over the place. It’s- it’s really weird, Sid doesn’t even know. But at least he probably never has to buy Listerine ever again, so who cares. He splashes some water into his face and combs his fingers through his locks. Then he takes a couple of deep breaths and goes back to the kitchen.

 

Geno has found some plates and is in the middle of dishing out what looks like egg salad on them.

“Can’t find coffee,” he says as Sid enters the kitchen.

“Oh yeah, sorry, I think I’m out,” Sid answers.

Geno just shrugs and smiles, before handing Sid one of the plates.

“Is okay, can get later” he says.

 

They eat in silence on the couch, because Sid doesn’t actually own a kitchen table. He never really eats full meals with other people, so what’s the point.

Sid ends up demolishing all the contents of his plate in record time. Apparently fighting also makes you hungry. Who knew.

Geno eats his food in slow measured bites and leans back and looks out of the window when he’s done. Sid feels like jumping out of his own skin. What the _hell_ is Geno playing at here? Is he mad at Sid? Does he want to apologize for something? Does he want _Sid_ to apologize?

 

“So Sasha tell you about what Bryz did?” Geno asks while staring steadily outside the window.

“Yeah,” Sid answers. He is holding his breath for some reason.

Geno nods slowly. He finally looks over at Sid. There is so much of something Sid has only ever _dreamed_ of seeing in Geno’s eyes, even though he can’t identify it one hundred percent. But it makes his stomach flip.

“You beat up Bryz,” Geno whispers.

Sid just nods. He doesn’t particularly trust his own voice right now.

“For me?” Geno asks.

Sid nods again. Of course for him! _Of course_ ! Sid would do _anything_ for Geno, Geno has to know that.

“Sid,” Geno just whispers again.

And that’s it. That’s the last thing either of them says before Sid’s resolve finally, _finally_ snaps.

 

He is up and in Geno’s lap in a flash, his legs straddling Geno and his mouth smashing on Geno’s soft, plush, _wonderful_ lips. There are teeth clinking together painfully and smushed noses and Geno’s hands yanking Sid closer. Sid’s hands are in Geno’s hair, tilting Geno’s face to the side and then Geno’s tongue is in his mouth and Sid sucks on it while Geno’s hands migrate to Sid’s ass, pulling him down. Sid moans at the first contact.

 

He grinds his hips down and does it again, and again, and again until Geno is moaning incoherent things and Sid can feel how hard they both already are.

“Fuck” and “Sid” are the only words Geno keeps saying, diving into Sid’s mouth over and over. They are clinging onto each other like drowning people, desperate for touch and friction and just- _more_.

 

Sid’s shirt lands somewhere behind the couch, Geno’s henley knocks down a lamp on Sid’s side table. Sid doesn’t care. Who needs lamps, anyways? Who needs _anything_ , when they could instead run their hands up and down Geno’s soft chest, finger the outline of his ribs under white skin, his funny, crooked belly button and the fine trail of coarse hair leading to the waistband of his jeans.

“Off,” Sid pants in between kisses. “Pants off. Now.”

Geno growls a curse and with a - frankly impressive - burst of strength, flips them over so Sid is flat on his back on the couch.

 

Geno rears up to essentially rip his own jeans off his legs Incredible-Hulk-style while Sid frantically tries to wriggle out of his sweats. He needs Geno naked and on him right the fuck _now_!

“Stupid fucking pants!” Geno curses with a final freeing kick and then he is back on top off Sid, both of them naked now, just skin on skin, rutting on each other like teenagers and panting into each other’s mouths.

“Geno,” Sid whispers as Geno migrates his kisses from his mouth, down his jaw and neck. “Fuck, Geno, I- I want you so much.”

“I’m want you _most_ ,” Geno answers and pulls away for a second to look Sid in the eye. “Want you so long, but I’m think you don’t. Think you just want friends.”

 

Sid wants to yell at Geno a little, because Geno must be really fucking stupid if he honestly thought that Sid just wanted to be his _friend_ . But Geno’s huge pupils are focused on Sid right now, and there’s a lock of hair falling into his forehead and - oh yeah, right, Geno’s _huge_ fucking dick is lying right next to Sid’s on Sid’s stomach. So Sid foregoes the yelling for now and pulls Geno back down to lose himself in Geno’s mouth again.

 

Geno’s mouth - as much as Sid is also focused on Geno’s thick cock - is frankly a revelation. Soft, and velvety and slick with spit. Sid is pretty sure he could make out with Geno for the rest of his life and still not get enough of it. Geno’s tongue is so fucking clever and his teeth keep nipping at Sid’s lips. Sid has never felt this incredible _ever_ before. He never wants it to end.

 

Except he also needs to come, like, _right now_. And so does Geno apparently, because he keeps thrusting against Sid’s belly, everything already slick with precum and sweat, the rhythm starting to get erratic.

“Geno” Sid whines, because the friction is just not enough.

He needs more. Harder. Faster.

 

“Shh, _lyubimyy_ , I got you” Geno whispers back.

And then Geno wraps one of his huge hands around both of their cocks at the same time, and Sid’s thrusts become borderline desperate and faster, _faster_ until everything explodes into blinding whiteness.

Sid only vaguely registers Geno shouting his name and the double load of hot cum splattering his chest.

 

When Sid comes back to the realm of the living, Geno has shifted them on the couch so they are both on their sides, but with Sid slightly slumped over Geno’s chest. Geno’s right hand is in Sid’s hair, softly massaging his scalp. The other one is clutching Sid’s hand on his chest. Sid can feel the jizz congealing on his belly, but he doesn’t want to leave this protective bubble they are in right now. Not when Geno is so warm and alive underneath him and they are both still trying to discreetly catch their breaths.

 

“This okay?” Geno quietly asks after a couple of minutes.

“More than just okay,” Sid answers.

He lifts his head a little to peer at Geno, who looks back with a cautious smile on his face. As if he’s scared that Sid might change his mind about this. As if Sid _ever_ would.

 

“Geno,” Sid starts and traces the shape of Geno’s face with his fingers. He needs to say a few things. Make them clear. No more misunderstandings. Sid has had enough of those to last several lifetimes.

“I- I have liked you for a very long time. And I don’t do things by halves.”

Geno looks a little confused and Sid plows on hastily.

“I wanna be with you. _Just_ you.” Sid looks intently at Geno, who still doesn’t exactly give off the vibe of somebody fully comprehending what Sid is saying.

“And you,” Sid continues, “you are with me. _Just_ me. Right?”

Geno nods, still slightly bewildered.

 

“Would you be okay with that?” Sid finally asks with a lump in his throat.

Geno wrinkles his forehead.

“Sid, you the only man I touch in almost two years. Almost kill me when I see you with PK in birdcage. But I don’t know if you interested in me, so I can’t be mad. I’m not interested in anybody else. Just you, for me.” he says as if this is something that Sid should definitely already know.

Then he grins at Sid with his tongue between his teeth and taps his forefinger lightly on Sid’s forehead.

“Just you, even though you _very_ stupid,” he teases and Sid has to bite his finger a little in retaliation.

 

Still, it’s like something very warm and wriggly has awoken in Sid’s belly. Something filling him with light and joy and happiness.

His smile at Geno can probably light up an entire city.

“Okay” he says and kisses Geno’s waiting mouth.

 

*

 

They walk into the locker room the next day holding hands. Tyler takes one look at them and lets out a happy shout before throwing himself at them and doing an impromptu jumpy dance for five minutes. PK smacks two obnoxious kisses on Sid’s cheeks and says

“So I’m guessing that night in the birdcage was a one time thing, eh?”

Geno’s glowering stare and his arm around Sid’s shoulders are answer enough.

 

Alex serves them all a new cocktail creation that night. It’s something with a lot of Russian vodka and Canadian maple syrup, black and gold food dye - which Geno as an avid Penguins supporter appreciates - and called “The Two-Headed Monster”. It’s strong enough that Sid and Geno have to leave Geno’s car parked by the club and take an uber home. By the time they’re in bed, they are sobered up enough to exchange clumsy handjobs before falling asleep in a tight embrace, Geno’s heavy arm slung around Sid, grounding him.

 

The club is closed on Christmas Eve, so Sid and Geno spend the entire day in bed, trading sloppy kisses and very messy blowjobs. Sid has always liked giving head, but with Geno it’s a borderline religious experience. The sheer width and weight of Geno’s dick are enough to drive Sid out of his mind with _want_. He tries to swallow down as much of Geno’s cock as he can, and even though he can feel the tip graze the back of his throat, there is still enough left that Sid has to use both hands to get Geno off.

“Think you killed me, Sid” Geno rasps after the third time he has come down Sid’s throat. “Need to find new boyfriend, very sorry.”

Sid just laughs and gets on his knees to jerk himself off on Geno’s taut stomach. The heated look Geno gives him is almost enough to get him there completely.

 

Since New Year’s Eve is definitely the bigger holiday in Russia, Sid and Geno both change shifts so they have that night off, too. Even though the tips are apparently incredible. They spent the night at Alex’s instead with at least twenty Russians taking over the tidy house in the suburbs. Sid finally meets Alex’s legendary husband Nicky.

 **You were right, Nicky is frighteningly normal!** Sid texts Burky around midnight.

 **Told ya! xx** Burky shoots back.

 

They watch the ball drop on tv and light fireworks in the garden. When Geno kisses Sid at midnight, Sid has to actively bite back the three little words almost on the tip of his tongue. It’s way too early. But still. He _wants_ to say them. He knows them to be true. That might be enough for now.

“Ya lyublyu tebya” Geno murmurs into his ear, while they watch the fireworks.

Sid doesn’t ask what that means, just buries his face in the inside of Geno’s winter jacket and breathes in deeply.

It’s the best New Year’s he has had in his entire life.

 

Geno and Sid stay put in their usual spots in window room at the Glitter Palace for a while. It’s not something they have talked about, it just happens. Even though it’s definitely more difficult to get it up three times every other night, when all they do in their free time is get each other off. Sid takes a daily double dose of his protein pills, but sometimes he is so literally _wrung out_ that his load is barely half a teaspoon worth of cum.

 

Sid has never thought of himself as an exhibitionist, even considering where he has been working for the past months. But when flu season hits the staff of the Glitter Palace and Geno and him volunteer for a shift in the couple’s window room, he is surprised to find out how much being watched actually works for him. Geno must agree, because the first time he goes on his knees for Sid in front of an audience, he comes even before Sid does, after only a handful of tugs on his own cock. That night after their shift, they are still so keyed up that they slink away to the darkroom for a while, jerking each other off in the dim light, surrounded by other moaning couples.

“I do not respect either one of you anymore,” Alex tells them when they make their way back to the bar.

 

After that, they take more shifts in the couple’s room or the birdcage. First of all it’s easier - only two shifts a night instead of three - second of all, it’s a huge turn on. Sometimes Geno will wrap himself around Sid from behind, jerking him off and whispering some of the filthiest shit Sid has ever heard into his ear. Sid can see the crowd the entire time and they can see him, pressed up against the glass or the golden metal bars of the cage, basically begging Geno to make him come. It’s much more exciting than it has any right to be.

 

Gabe’s birthday rolls around in January. They spend it at a fancy restaurant, where Gabe introduces them to a similarly blonde and gorgeous guy called Mikko, who has apparently done the impossible and nailed Gabe down. _Literally_.

“He is insane in bed,” a very tipsy Gabe tells Sid earnestly towards the end of the night. “Seriously Creature! His dick could match your ass, if you know what I mean!”

“I _do_ know what you mean,” Sid says in a pained tone.

He really doesn’t want to know. He still has nightmares about the monstrosity that is Biznasty’s monstercock. There’s big and then there’s _too_ big. Sid is so glad Geno is on the right side of that spectrum.

 

Speaking of dicks - Sid is also looking forward to the very fine day when Geno will finally put said dick into him. So far that hasn’t happened, even though Sid has no idea why. He’s still not great at asking intimate questions. And Geno isn’t great at offering up intimate information without prompting, so they trade a lot of handjobs and blowjobs and Geno fingers him once. Of course he is annoyingly good at locating and hitting Sid’s prostate until Sid comes unspooled. Sid is more or less completely useless after he comes that night.

“Jerk yourself off on me,” he tells Geno with an arm flung over his eyes. “I can’t move.”

Geno chuckles and obliges.

 

Still, it’s really good. _Everything_ is really good between them. Easy and comfortable.

“I feel so safe when you’re around” Sid tells Geno another night when they’re in bed.

“Is good thing, yes?” Geno asks.

“It’s the best thing!” Sid answers.

 

The Palace closes down for a week in the beginning of February.

“We need to renovate a few things,” Sully tells Sid over pizza one night in the locker room.

“But it will all still look the same after, right? Sid asks him.

He’s oddly fond of the club with all its details. He doesn’t want anything to change. He _never_ does.

Sully chuckles as if he can read Sid’s mind and nods.

“Don’t worry Creature, I wouldn’t change a single thing here.”

 

The first day of their week long vacation Sid is hitting the library. With a whole lot of Geno-time, he hasn’t really gotten anything done these past few weeks. Around noon he grabs some lunch with Jamie, who keeps checking his phone every two seconds.

“Sorry,” he says the thirtieth time he picks it up. “Tyler has his exams today and I’m really nervous.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be fine,” Sid tells him. “Tyler is smarter than he looks.”

Jamie kicks him under the table but he laughs along with Sid.

 

The next night Sid and Geno go on their first official _date_ date. Geno has booked them a table at an upscale steak restaurant. He looks so good in his green button down shirt and his dress pants, that Sid has to physically restrain himself from climbing into Geno’s lap right there at the table. The steaks are delicious, perfectly tender and just a little bit pink at the center. They drink an expensive bottle of red wine and share a slice of creamy cheesecake for dessert.

“Next time we order two,” Geno pouts when the tiny plate is empty. “You cheesecake hog, Sid!”

Sid bursts into one of his embarrassing giggle-honks and blushes, but Geno looks at him like it’s the best sound in the world.

 

They walk the twenty minutes back to Geno’s apartment. They have spent most of their time there, because even though it’s not big, it’s definitely more spacious than the little crapbox Sid rents. Geno’s bed is bigger too and there are actual signs of a human person living in the two rooms and tiny kitchen. Sid’s place looks like somebody is squatting there for a week or two, but Geno’s place - it looks like an actual _home_. With pictures on the wall and pillows on the couch. Sid loves it there.

 

It’s an unseasonably warm evening. They walk along the streets slowly, holding hands and talking about everything and nothing. Geno’s thumb strokes softly along Sid’s knuckles every few steps and Sid has to suppress a full body shudder every time it does.

“I wrote email to my parents,” Geno says as they wait for the green light at a crosswalk. Sid looks up in surprise.

“Really? What did you write?”

Geno looks at the ground and swallows.

“I told them I meet somebody. You. Told them I’m very happy and that I’m hope they happy for me too.”

Sid is at a loss for words. His own relationship with his parents is- well, _complicated_ my be a good blanket term for it. They’ve never outright cast Sid out, like Geno’s parents did, but they are still not exactly happy about Sid’s ‘choices’, as his father likes to call it. When Sid calls, they usually talk about Taylor, but apart from that there’s not that much to say.

“I think I wanna do that too,” Sid says as the light turns green.

When he glances over at Geno, he sees that Geno’s face is split into a happy little smile.

 

The whole evening was sweet and soft around the edges and so their kiss as they enter Geno’s apartment is too. It doesn’t stay like that for long though. The frantic fumbling from their first days together is gone, but there is a new sort of urgency between them tonight, one that makes something squeeze excitingly, low in Sid’s gut.

“Bedroom?” Geno murmurs.

His eyes are already heavy lidded and there’s a rasp in his voice that only comes out when he is seriously turned on. Sid just nods quickly.

 

They stumble into Geno’s bedroom, making out while also trying to get each other out of their shirts. It’s wonderfully impractical and ineffective. Especially with all these little buttons on Geno’s shirt that Sid’s shaking hands can’t really seem to manage right now. In the end Geno breaks away from Sid’s mouth to pull his own shirt over his head and throw it on a chair in the corner. Sid immediately gets his hands on the expanse of freshly naked skin to pull himself as close as humanly possible.

 

They manage to lose the rest of their clothes in pretty quick succession and by the time Sid scoots up the bed with Geno over him, caging him in, Sid’s cock is worryingly hard and leaking.

“What you want, milyi moy?” Geno whispers in Sid’s ear.

Sid shudders again and squeezes his eyes shut. His usual answer would be ‘whatever you want’, but tonight he definitely knows exactly what he wants Geno to do.

“Fuck me,” he whispers back. “Please, Geno. _Fuck me_.”

 

Geno stills and pulls back a little to look at Sid. The light in the room is dim, an orange glow coming in from the street outside. Sid still can make out how wide Geno’s pupils are. How intense his gaze.

“You sure?” Geno asks in a hushed whisper. He sounds unsure and awed at the same time.

“Yes,” Sid whispers. He’s never been so sure of anything.

“I’m only do once before,” Geno says. He’s chewing on his plush lip and tracing nonsense patterns on Sid’s bare hip with his thumb.

“Are you serious?” Sid asks incredulously.

Geno looks at him with something like surprised hurt.

“No, no!” Sid hastily adds and sits up a bit. “I mean-” He rakes a hand through his hair. “Have you seen yourself in a mirror, dude? I mean, you are so fucking _hot_! How do guys not throw themselves at you every two minutes?

Geno starts grinning.

“Maybe they do. Maybe I’m just very picky,” he says and leans forward to kiss Sid back into the pillows.

 

They make out like that for a while, until the still unresolved matter of their hard dicks becomes tough to ignore.

“Do you want to?” Sid asks Geno between two kisses.

Geno pulls back again. This is becoming a bit of a pattern, Sid thinks hysterically.

“I’m want,” Geno answers. “I’m want _everything_ with you, Sid.”

Sid pulls him down to kiss some more.

 

At some point in between kissing and grinding and groping, Geno manages to extract lube and a condom from the nightstand.

“You tell me what to do, okay?” he says as he scoots in between Sid’s legs.

“You already know the first part,” Sid pants and wedges a pillow under his hip.

Holy fuck, he is so hard, it’s almost painful.

“Just- just don’t hit me _too_ good, okay?”

Geno looks confused for a second but then he starts grinning slyly.

“You not wanna come yet?”

Sid shakes his head vehemently.

“I wanna come on your cock.”

That at least wipes the smug little smile from Geno’s face.

“Fuck” he whispers, before lubing up his fingers and pushing one in.

 

Sid has only ever had two guys put their dicks into him. One was his first boyfriend, who had been loving, earnest and clumsy but also preferred to bottom himself. They had alternated positions now and then, but somehow it had never really been great and when they broke up, Sid had missed everything but the sex.

 

The other one had been an affair Sid had on one of his rare vacations. He had gone with Flower and his girlfriend to a lake house in Maine for July 4th. There had been exactly _one_ other gay guy there, and Sid had hooked up with him mostly for lack of choice. It had rained the entire week they were there, so he had been bored since everyone else had been coupled up. The guy - TJ or something - had been nice and funny, although not Sid’s type. One night he had asked Sid if Sid would let him fuck him. Sid’s yes hadn’t exactly been enthused, but after their first _excellent_ round, Sid had not let him leave the bed for the rest of their stay. The guy had fucked the living bejeezus out of Sid, who not only had to endure endless chirps from Flower and his girlfriend Véro on the way back, but also hadn’t been able to properly sit down for at least a week after.

 

Geno crooks his fingers just right, bringing Sid back to the present and startling a loud moan out of him. He’s up to two fingers now and Sid definitely needs a third. Maybe even a fourth, considering the size of Geno’s dick.

“Three, Geno,” Sid pants, fisting his hands in the sheets.

Geno growls a little, adding a third finger and nosing at Sid’s balls.

“F-fuck,” Sid pants. He throws his head back into the pillows.

“So hot, Sid,” Geno mumbles. “Think about you like this, always. Think what I’m do with you, how I’m touch you.”

 

Oh _God_ , Geno is talking dirty to Sid. This isn’t good. It will mean Sid will probably come embarrassingly fast.

“Look at you,” Geno crows. “Taking fingers so good. You think you can take cock so well too?”

Sid moans.

“Y-yes,” he croaks, his voice going up at the end.

Geno hums and pulls out his fingers a little to add more lube.

“I’m think you need four. Make sure you ready.”

Sid almost screams when Geno adds a fourth finger and scissors them slightly. It’s a stretch, but Sid welcomes the tiny stabs of pain as Geno moves his fingers in and out. They are a distraction from the fact that he needs to come so fucking _badly_.

“G-Geno” he pants.

Geno has busied himself sucking an obnoxious hickey on the inside of Sid’s thigh, but he looks up at Sid. His eyes are already unfocused with arousal.

“Get it in me,” Sid says.

“You sure?”

“Yes. Fuck me, Geno. _Now_.”

 

Geno pulls out his fingers slowly and Sid tries not to wince. When Geno reaches for the condom wrapper, Sid grabs his hand.

“Hey, um- I-” Sid takes another deep breath. “I’ve never had anyone fuck me bare, but I got tested last summer and I haven’t slept with anyone since.” He is sure Geno will catch his drift.

Geno does. His eyes go even more wide and he swallows audibly a couple of times.

 

“Do you wanna? Fuck me bare, I mean?” Sid says quietly.

Geno nods frantically.

“Yes. Yes, Sid, I’m want. I’m clean too, haven’t done anything in two years and got tested many times.”

Sid smiles at him.

“Good. I trust you.”

Geno takes Sid hand and puts it over his heart.

 

It takes one false start and some repositioning on the pillow, but when Geno’s fat cockhead pushes past Sid’s rim, Sid feels like he’s the king of the fucking world. Geno holds himself very still over Sid, until Sid kicks him slightly with his heel.

“Come on, Geno” he whines and hooks his legs around Geno’s hips to get him deeper.

“Impatient,” Geno huffs fondly and carefully pushes a bit further inside.

When he finally bottoms out, there are beads of sweat on his forehead and Sid is shaking underneath him.

“We good?” Geno asks and Sid nods.

“You can move.”

Geno does.

 

The first few pushes are tentative and shallow. But once they find a rhythm somewhere between frantic and slow, Geno starts putting his weight behind every thrust. Then he pushes himself up a little and the angle changes and suddenly there are sparks shooting up Sid’s spine.

“Fuck, Geno, right _there_.”

Geno nods once and then proceeds to fuck the living daylight out of Sid. Sid has to put his hands over his head and flat on the headboard, to not get rammed into it. There are broken vowel sounds and moans coming out of his mouth. Geno above him is swearing a blue streak in Russian, still hammering into Sid at precisely the right angle.

 

Even though he has been hard for ages, Sid’s orgasm takes him by surprise. One moment he is screaming for Geno to never stop fucking him please, the next moment his mouth falls open on a silent shout and he comes untouched and in long spurts all over himself. Geno immediately slows down, even though Sid can tell he’s dying to come himself.

“Keep going” he pants and clenches his hole around Geno. “Keep fucking me, G.”

Geno groans, buries his face in Sid’s neck and goes. Sid is still oversensitive and almost regrets his decision, because Geno’s dick dragging inside him is too much, he’s too full and his nerve endings are on fire. But then Geno lets out a sound like a sob and comes hot and wet inside of Sid.

 

Sid has never had anybody fuck him bare before and the fact that he can feel Geno come, can feel the slickness inside, makes his spent cock twitch feebly. Geno presses clumsy kisses along Sid’s neck and collarbone. When he tries to pull back, Sid wraps his legs around him tighter.

“Stay,” he whispers into Geno’s temple. “Stay inside me a little longer.”

Geno moans softly.

“Killing me Sid,” he says. But he obliges.

 

“Sid?” Geno asks much later, when they have taken a very quick shower and crawled back into bed.

Sid hums in answer from his spot on Geno’s chest.

“Was okay, yes?” Geno asks with genuine concern in his voice.

Sid snorts a little and looks up at Geno. He can’t really see him in the dark, but he still tries for a facial expression that shows Geno how unnecessary his question was.

“Yes, Geno. I don’t know if you noticed, but you kinda made me come without touching my dick. Also your neighbors probably _hate_ us right now.”

Geno chuckles and pats Sid’s hair in the dark.

“Sorry, sorry, just want to make sure.”

 

“I love you,” Sid blurts out in the middle of his answering little laugh.

Geno stills under him. There’s a small pause.

“I love you too, Sid.” Geno answers quietly. “Love you _most_.”

Sid’s smile is a little watery by now. Thank God it’s dark in the room.

“It’s not a competition, Geno.”

“No is not. Because I’m win, no question.”

Sid scoots up to kiss him.

 

If the kiss tastes a little salty, they both don’t mention it.

 

*

 

**Epilogue**

_(Eight months later)_

 

“Is that the last of your stuff?” Sid asks as he comes down the stairs to the moving truck in front of Geno’s house.

“Yes, I’m think so,” Geno nods and hands Biz another box on the loading platform.

“I can’t believe you guys only have like three boxes of clothes,” Tyler pipes up from behind Biz. “Do you not enjoy looking good or something? Are you allergic to _style_?”

Geno rolls his eyes and attempts to shove Tyler off the truck, but Tyler hides behind Jamie’s bulkier frame.

 

“Sid not need clothes when we alone,” Geno shoots back with his tongue peaking out of his mouth.

“Geno!” Sid shouts in what he hopes is a stern voice, but ends up being a giggle. Geno winks at him and lifts his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face. At the sight of his abs, Sid’s mouth goes dry. Mitch comes to stand beside him.

“You’re disgusting,” he says cheerfully at the lovestruck look on Sid’s face and hands him a water bottle.

“Shut up, Mitchy Mouse,” Sid shoots back with a slight blush already coloring his cheeks.

 

Their new apartment is in a freshly renovated brownstone right next to campus. It has almost everything on Sid’s wishlist, with its hardwood floors, large windows and the open fireplace in the living room. Since they are on the ground floor, there’s even a patio and a back garden with overgrown hedges and a grill. When they have carried every last box inside, Gabe and Nicky start to put together Sid’s and Geno’s new IKEA bed frame.

“We’re Swedish,” Gabe says as if that is qualification enough to put together furniture from IKEA.

“I’m Swedish too,” Burky pipes up and hurries forward to help and defend his national honor or something.

“Yes, but you’re a doofus,” Nicky says and closes the bedroom door in his face.

Sid needs to promise Burky that he gets to put together their kitchen chairs before he is smiling again.

 

At 7pm they are all sitting on Sid’s and Geno’s new patio, enjoying one of the last warm-ish evenings of the year. There’s a knock on the front door. Sully marches in with a dozen large pizzas and an actual beer keg.

“Are you for real right now?” Sid asks staring at the keg half amused, half incredulous.

“My daughter’s new boyfriend got it for me,” Sully says with an endearing sort of pride in his voice.

Sid sighs.

“ _Please_ adopt me, Sully. Would you?”

Sully just laughs and pulls Sid into a hug.

“Sure, Creature. Any time.”

 

*

 

The thing is - Sid doesn’t need _anything_.

 

Later that night, when the guys have all left and Geno and him have brushed their teeth side by side in their new bathroom for the first time, Sid is lying in bed, Geno spooning him like he always does and snoring softly into Sid’s hair. A year ago, Sid had been desperate. He had needed money and friends and a purpose in life, apart from his PhD thesis. He hadn’t been happy, even though he didn’t know it back then. Now he knows. _Now_ he knows what happiness is.

 

Two weeks ago his professor has offered him a job in the history department. Starting next month, Sid will teach three classes a week and make a very decent income. He’ll have enough time to work on his thesis and get some firsthand experience in teaching. Geno took him to the fanciest sushi place in Pittsburgh to celebrate.

 

When Sid had started at the Glitter Palace he thought he would be relieved to leave the place again as soon as possible. Now he found out, he couldn’t actually say goodbye yet. So he has struck up a deal with Sully. He will still come in once a week for a little extra income. Geno will stay on full time as long as he is still working on his Master’s degree.

 

Geno and him are still up in the window room most nights, sometimes in the birdcage or in the smaller window room for coupled up entertainers. Never on the porn bed though.

“I’m love to fuck you, Sid,” Geno had told him very earnestly one night. “But this- this just for us, okay?”

Sid had been more than happy to agree. Having Geno’s dick inside of him is probably his favorite thing in the world, and even though Sid is generally a generous dude, he feels selfish enough not to want to share that with _anybody_.

 

It’s been almost a year since he first met Geno in the locker room. Back then, he was lonely and sad and _so_ desperate to be loved. Now he _is_ loved, not only by his wonderful, goofy boyfriend, who makes up and sings songs about pancakes and French toast in the mornings and takes Sid ice skating at least once a week, but also by his new friends.

 

By Tyler, who will start at culinary school next year. By Jamie, who finally passed his exam and got offered a position at a private elementary school downtown. By Willy and Kappy, who still claim to be ‘just bone bros, dude!’ but who have reportedly been spotted walking and holding hands in the park by PK.

 

Leon, Gabe, PK and Biz and Mike and Tom and Auston and Mitchy - all there for them on moving day and always up for some coffee or a beer or a night at the movies. And Alex, who still insists Sid call him Sasha, and who finally told them last week that the adoption papers went through.

“Gonna be a papa, soon” he had said, happy tears pouring down his face.

Sid had gone to sleep around 3 am, only to be woken up by two very drunken Russians stumbling into bed with him a little while later.

“Sorry Sid, can’t let Sasha drive home like this,” Geno had hiccuped, while Alex had snuggled in between them and immediately started snoring into Sid's ear. Sid had sent Nicky a congratulatory text the next morning that had contained the phrase “And please tell your husband if he ever spoons me again, I will cut off his testicles”.

 

Sid turns around slowly in Geno's arms and looks at the sleeping man behind him. Geno looks so soft in the dim light streaming in through their new curtains. Sid traces his fingertips over his cheekbones and nose, the outline of his lips and his eyebrows. There’s a little velvet box that Sid has hidden in an old pair of his socks. The ring inside is silver and unpretentious. Maybe he will give it to Geno on New Year’s Eve. If he can get the nerve up. If he can wait that long. He keeps tracing his fingertips over Geno’s lips.

 

“Is late, Sid,” Geno mumbles sleepily. “Sleep now.”

“Sorry,” Sid whispers back. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Sid.” Geno mumbles. “But sleepy time now. Can be cute tomorrow.”

Sid can hear the smile in Geno’s voice. He scoots down to hide his own in Geno’s chest. Sid presses a quick kiss to his skin.

 

It lands right above Geno’s heart.

 

***

come yell hockey at me over on [tumblr](https://jiggyknowswhatsup.tumblr.com/).  
  
  
WE HAVE A [SEQUEL](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14277498) NOW, PEOPLE! A SEQUEL!

 

**Author's Note:**

> In a previous version of these end notes, I leaned pretty hard into Ilya Bryzgalov for an interview he gave the Puck Soup Podcast in June 2017. I distinctly remember him voicing his support for the Chechnyan government in the prosecution and killing of LGBT youths. There were several people in the comments who pointed out to me that they re-listened to the interview and that that wasn't true. So either I had some sort of weird fever dream or they re-edited the episode or I'm confusing something. Either way - this is bad research and that is on me. Sorry for misleading anyone into thinking that Bryz is a garbage human being.
> 
> Either way, I still made him the villain in this, and I still don't like the guy. The part about him getting his face smacked gave me the greatest pleasure to write. That probably does make me a garbage human being, at least a little bit. Sorry, guys...


End file.
